My mother has been in this nursing home since April, after suffering a massive stroke which has left her paralyzed. She has use of her right arm, can talk and carry on a conversation, still has her long-term memory. She can self feed (pureed food) if everything is set up for her, but that's about all she can do physically. She was totally independent before the stroke.
As one can guess, this is causing her much distress. She is very afraid, and has always been afraid of nursing homes. She's having a tough time.
I went to visit her tonight. New Geriatric Nursing Assistant in her unit tonight. Her GNA was a male. She told me he was very nice. When it was time to have her diaper changed and get her nightgown on, he came in to do that. I stayed. New and a man, I didn't like it. Mom started crying in the middle of the process, and cried for an hour afterwards. She was extremely embarrassed. Is this a normal practice at nursing homes, having a male change a female? Nothing personal against this gentleman.
It would be possible for there to be a fine line between harmless light-hearted flirtatious banter and inappropriately intimate comments, yes, true. But that was NOT a fine line, that was a mile wide.
Besides, how could you ever have looked him in the eye again?
Have you considered that her embarrassment may have been you being in the room and seeing her in this position? Having worked with the elderly for much of my career, I can tell you that having your children see you having your brief changed is one of the things that causes the elderly intense embarrassment and shame.
That is outrageous. Yes, many women see a male doctor.
Still, if it makes her uncomfortable, it is such an easy fix, I fail to fathom why the home will not accommodate you and her and send a Female to take care of her.
Can you speak to management?
Seriously, though, what must you think of us. I'm sorry if you've had a bit of a baptism of fire, but at least you didn't feel no one was interested? I hope?
What sort of week have you and your mother had?
m1kew00
34 min ago
THIS HAS BEEN RESOLVED! Please see my December 2 post WAY down below. Thank you all for your wisdom! I'm very new to all of this and am just learning as I go along.
m1kew00
Dec 2, 2018
Thank you all for your replies. I spoke with the nursing supervisor on duty yesterday and she was very receptive to Mom's problems. She asked if we would like only females to change her, and I said yes please. Also made clear that this was not at all a reflection on the male caregiver, just Mom's personal preference
I am so glad you spoke up about this issue.
As you saw, it was an easy fix for the nursing home.
There are typically more women working in nursing homes, so it was just a simple matter of scheduling.
Why cause distress to an elderly person needlessly?
Aunt requested a female and sometimes she’d get one but then the next shift staffed mostly men or they were short staffed... just being real!