Many comments about finding a nice assisted living, but how to pay?

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Many comments about finding a nice assisted living, but how to pay?

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I have a 90 year old mon and 97 year old dad, moved in with me 4 years ago, getting more demanding, more health issues.
If i find them the CHEAPEST one, it is $3,500 a month x 2 They would run out of money in a year and 6 months... THEN what happens? I can't pay that amount...I didn't even make that amount since I had to quit my job and take care of them full time...

Assisted Living Parents Paying for Care

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Once their cash runs out, have the nursing home administration apply for Medicaid for both of them. Let them know how much money they have upfront. My husband’s parents ended up sharing a room. Thankfully, it worked out.

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Check with the AL, are there shared rooms that might be a lower price? Mom's had several married couples who shared a large room. In Ohio most AL facilities have a clause that allows them to accept Medicaid waivers when a resident runs out of money if they have lived there 2 or more years.

And to be honest, a lot can happen in 18 months at that age. I suggest moving them in to the place they can afford and see what you can do to keep them there that extra 6 months. Is one of them a wartime veteran? Mom got an Aid and Attendance pension because Dad had served in WW2.

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They would probably have to transfer to a Medicaid bed in a NH. If your assisted living facility has Medicaid beds in the NH area, they may be able to just move to that area. Just before you run out of money, you apply for Medicaid to cover their NH expenses.

Assisted living can be quite expensive and those who can afford to get in only get to stay until their money runs out.

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I hear all these comments and worries about how to pay for parents care in old age. Well, maybe I'm stupid, maybe I'm smart, not sure which. I'm a woman, age 84 now. I went back to work in my 40's & 50's, retired at 65 so I COULD PAY FOR MY OWN OLD AGE FACILITY. I put money away just for that, and for my husband. Lucky for him he was still living at home almost to the end and I cared for him, then put him in assisted living because he was a fall risk at home and wandering out of the home. I was glad I had the cash to pay for his end of life care in assisted living. I started looking after my old age in my late 30's, early 40's. Went to work, before that was a housewife for almost 30 years. Where were you and what were you doing at that stage in your lives. Kids can't support parents, not made to do that. Should have thought of old age much earlier in your life, 45 at least, if not earlier. Parents, don't drain your children's bank account for your old age. Yeah, you raised them, but think how hard it was for you at their age, and try to make it easier on them. My old age is taken care of now. Unless something happens catastrophically, my account should be able to pay for a nice place for me. No, I'm not rich, not very smart either, but I didn't want to be a burden on my family. They are working hard and paying for kids school, as well. I didn't want them to have to pay for my care. Think of this for a while. Help yourself, you younger ones, and try not to be a burden to your kids.

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That’s great that you had two incomes and kids (or husband, for that matter) who didn’t suck your soul away. Some of us weren’t this lucky. It’s interesting that you can predict how long your funds will last. Some of us don’t have that magic crystal ball. So we worry and realize that we’ll need to make do. And it’s scary. Please stop judging, you have NO idea what people have gone through.

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I feel you, there ARE a lot of people here who are blithely, throwing around that they put their parents in assisted, living, memory care, yada yada yada. The truth is, many many elders are not going to be able to afford the nicer facilities. And oh, by the way, once they decline enough, they’re alll going to end up in a skilled nursing home anyway, with all that money down the tubes. I think we should all be fighting for better Medicaid senior facilities. It shouldn’t just be the wealthy who get good care. If your parents do get Medicaid and into a Medicaid facility, cause a ruckus and push in any direction you can to have the facilities , be adequate. Write your Congress people, make a nuisance of yourself! That’s the only way to get anything done.

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Amen to all you’ve said! The cost is disgraceful for what you get anyway! You apply for Medicaid IF you haven’t gifted ANY money in the last 5 years prior. That’s their look back period. Or, you’ll get a rejection. This system is beyond pathetic! Plus, people are living too long. My MIL is 100 and in great health, but, is blind from Macular Degeneration. She’ll probably live well past 100. She’s in a facility in independent living, but, they are making up stuff and trying to get her into AL. I’m POA and no way are they gonna pull that crap!

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Check with their insurance to see what it will cover. Also check with ALF to see if they take Medicaid payments - when your folks face loss of finances.

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sandymrs1992: Contact the Council on Aging in Alpharetta, GA.
You do not use your financials to pay for your parents' care.

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Contact a social worker to arrange to get both your parents placement into a Medicaid licensed facility.

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Depending on where you live, some AL and MC facilities take medicaid, but you have to apply well before the money runs out, paying for at least 6 months. Where my mom was, they told me she'd have to move to a smaller room in MC if she had to have medicaid, but she could stay. She didn't need that, but I thought it very helpful to let you know that these places exist. AL or MC would be nicer than nursing home if they don't need a of medical care, but at 97, perhaps nursing home will eventually be needed.

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Eldercare in this country is a nightmare, unless you are very wealthy. That's just a sad fact. It is not impossible, but it is very challenging. One of the best things we did with my mother over many years of caring for at home and in an assisted living environment was to hire eldercare consultants. This is a field I would never have known existed, frankly. A good eldercare consultant can help you find care options, including full nursing and assisted living, and help you figure out the finances of affording them. Often the best option is Medicare-accepting facilities--not all are. And, yes, as someone here says, the Medicare thing is not for the faint of heart, but it is possible...just a lot of paperwork.

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I believe you mean Medicaid, if you are talking about long term care, AL, or MC payment.

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sandymrs1992please be aware that this cost might be only for the room/apartment aside from the basic cost there are other costs such are medication management monthly charge, and care level monthly charge. All of that would be priced after the facility performs an assessment. Medication management cost is very malleable depending on number of meds and if shots are involved (eg: insulin). Also the care level varies a lot as well depending on the amount of assistance the individual needs. All of these costs are per person.

Do your parent qualify for madicaid? It might be best for you to consult with an elder law attorney specializing in madicaid to find different options for your parents.

Best wishes

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Back when it was possible to buy a house with a low down payment, people knew that if they bought a house, it should be paid for before their old age. Then sell the house to pay for their care. At the time, there weren’t the nice retirement communities with continuum of care that we have now, though there certainly places where people retired.

Where I grew up, retirees often lived in small rental units behind a main house. They’d sell their bigger house to live on the money from the house sale and move into a one-bedroom efficiency. These small units provided income for the home owner and inexpensive living for the tenants. People didn’t live to be 100 then, making it necessary for someone to take care of them. They’d die around mid seventies or so. No hospice. It was off to the hospital and you never saw them again.

Those who have been able to buy and pay for a home are still better off than those who didn’t. Unfortunately we now have their overentitled adult children who don’t want to sell the family home to pay for parents’ care. Yikes! Their parents’ home was supposed to be their long-term care insurance. So there are many in their 70s and 80s taking care of nonagenarians and centenarians, and they don’t want to “put them in a home.”

Yikes again, but this ensures that this site will flourish for a long long time as those caregivers age 70s and 80s try to figure out what the bell happened to their own lives when they were just trying to do the “right thing.”

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I’d sell my mother’s home in a heartbeat, but it won’t get much in its current condition. It needs a new roof, siding, inside completely gutted down to the studs, really. I will NEVER do this to my kids. I’m 52, and probably going to get a long term care annuity. Those are easier to get approved for if you have health issues (which I do).

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Hello. Im sorry to worry you more but i want everyone to understand all this ... or at least MY understanding.

that $3500 you mention is probably the BOTTOM rate. There may be three stages of care that facility providers fail to tell people till move-in: basic care/medium care/high care.

so what happens is the total price us not going to be what a family caregiver actually initially expects.

when i got longterm insurance … about 30 ? years ago … it would cover all of the cost. Now im looking at about $ 3000 a month more due to increases.

im really sorry about having to tell everybody.

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Are you saying that since the cost of care in a AL facility has gone up, that your long term care insurance won’t be covering all the charges of going there now?

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Yes, it's best to find a Assisted Living facility for her that will take Medicaid once her money is gone. That's what we did with my Mom, but I will tell you applying for Medicaid is a ROYAL pain in the behind. They will look back at her finances for about 5 years and question EVERYTHING. If they see expenses or bank withdrawals they don't approve of, they will hold off on approving Medicaid. I had to get tons of bank records for them to go through, which the bank charged about $500 for. I wish you luck.

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Is it best to work with an elder care attorney when applying for Medicaid?

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In most states, Medicaid pays for LTC (if they qualify financially and medically) but rules vary by state and there is a "loopback" period anywhere from 2.5 to 5 years so how their money is managed will be critical when reviewed by Medicaid.

Other options would be to consider faith-based facilities. My MIL is in one owned by Presbyterian Homes. She's in LTC on Medicaid.. Her invoice is a little over $2,800 a month, in a private room. She gets excellent care and is not Presbyterian (and it usually doesn't matter to these types of facilities since they see it as a mission, not a business).

I would definitely consult with a Medicaid Planner for your parents' home state so that you know exactly what can be expected.

For recommendations of facilities, join Nextdoor.com, which is a non-anonymous intranet of your actual neighbors and near communities.

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This is a wonderful idea to look into faith-based LTC. I never thought of this before, and I will definitely keep this in mind for the future. Thank you for mentioning this.

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Sandy, call the county counsel on aging and request a needs assessment for both parents. This way you start by knowing what level of care they need and proceed from there. Looking into ALs only to find out they are the highest level of care and that adds another 4 grand monthly to the bill would be devastating for you.

I, highly recommend, board and care homes. Fewer residents, better caregiver to resident ratio and way less money. Make sure they accept residents/patients through end of life with hospice, not all do.

Then go back to work to ensure your future and be their daughter and advocate.

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The AL my mother is in charges $4,500 per month if she were to share a room the other one would pay 750 a month not $4,500.

I would run them out of money in AL and then apply for Medicaid, to go to a nursing home.

You should pay nothing.

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The way I look at it - my mom is in AL until she runs out of money. Then she'll have to move to a nursing home that takes medicaid. It stinks, but that's the way it's going to have to go.

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This is what I keep debating. My mother at times seems agreeable to Assisted Living. I am not her guardian and she’s not been declared incompetent, so I can’t “make” her go. But I keep thinking what if we could sell her house and fund assisted living? The problem is her house is in BAD shape, so it would only bring in around $75k. That won’t buy much time in assisted living. And then what if Medicaid doesn’t get approved? Plus having to move her again in a fairly short time…

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I just read that Herman Wouk, the writer, lived to almost 104. These “super-agers” are getting more and more common, so don’t go private-pay with your two. Counting on their dying before their funds run out is a dangerous game. You should definitely find a place that Medicaid will pay for. If the facility meets your criterion of “nice,” that is good, of course, but the main thing to remember is: don’t spend your own money on them, unless you are super-rich. You could well survive until past 100, yourself.

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How do you find out if Medicaid will pay. My mom is already in home, but I never found out about that before.

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Find an Assisted Living facility that also takes Medicaid. They private pay until their funds run out, then Medicaid kicks in if they're approved.

Normally, the rent for AL is not doubled for 2 people in one apartment. It's $3500 for the first resident, and less than half that for the second.

If the folks have too many health issues, AL may not accept them and Skilled Nursing care would be your only option. Private pay till funds are exhausted, then Medicaid kicks in along with most of their Social Security.

Speak to an elder care attorney about the details of qualifying for Medicaid, should the need arise. 18 months is quite a bit of time at 90 and 97.

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****Then private pay till their funds run out*****

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Many comments about finding a nice assisted living, but how to pay?

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