Started the Medicaid process to prepare Doc for either home care or a facility. They sent a supplemental asking for lots of “household” financial documentation and proof. Does that mean I have to give my tax records and all financial info to them, too? Seems so intrusive and makes me not want to do this.
Very overwhelmed....and beyond frustrated. Came home from court today and FIVE HOURS LATER I can finally sit down to write this. Walk in to a complete and utter disaster of sh*t smeared on the floor, had a dozen diapers disgustingly smeared and used to clean the floor, the counter, the walls and the carpet again. Husband rushes home from the office - drops all he is doing, to come and shampoo the carpet AGAIN.
Doc took 3 showers at my repeated insistence as he dragged his feet and spread it on the carpet and his bed, and still had it smeared on his leg that I had to clean, along with all his bedding AGAIN. This was the first time we’ve had to deal with this level of bowel issues. Now we are past little spots or leakage from the diaper. Now we are past the line that I cannot stomache. Now what?
How do my home caregiving friends do it? How do you breathe?? Laundry is still going and I challenge any one of you mates to a contest of who goes through more laundry detergent or toilet paper - I guarantee you, I’d win by a mile. Gotta go shopping AGAIN to stock up for this merry go round. Then the septic company (who was just here 6 mos ago), just came to respond to our call that it already stinks - as if it can’t get worse - we need a whole new septic.
Unbelievable. I can’t do this anymore and I don’t want to deal with the state digging into our financials. I do not want this responsibility anymore but God help me, I see no way out without having to sacrifice even more than we already have. We have paid so much and I don’t want to spend another dime on this madness, we don’t deserve this! Feel like a whip driven slave to mental illness. What hurts the most is that I do not feel anything other than negative about Doc, and he has been my loving father for 20 years. In tears and emotional shambles right now. I hate dementia and I hope I never ever ever encounter it again in my life!!
Medicaid process is all about being intrusive...that’s what they are there for...was your father a Vet? He can get a lot of services if he was...You can get help w Medicaid application from Social a Worker or Dept of Aging.
I also suggest putting Dad on bathroom schedule & have Aide change his diapers ...good luck & hugs 🤗
Glad you sound better this morning.
You mention you have claimed Doc as a dependent for the last couple years. I don’t know how or if this will change the Medicaid process at all. Let’s hope not.
Someone may come along that has experience with having claimed a parent as a dependent then applied for Medicaid.
I just want to repeat what the others have said. Medicaid is interested in all things Doc. Financials, bank statements, investment information, properties, etc. This does not mean yours and your husbands or anyone else in the households financial information.
Be prepared, just because you submit something for Doc you may be asked to resubmit or submit for a third time. Things fall into a black hole, get lost. Keep copies of everything.
You really do sound exhausted. If you have started the Medicaid process there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Hang in there. (((Hugs)))
Im so sorry to hear of all your "poopy" troubles. This situation has gotten out of hand and should not be tolerated any longer.
Medicaid should not be asking for any of YOUR cpersonal financial information. Of course, they have a right to know about his, since he's applying for government aid (Medicaid).
Do NOT agree to release your info or pay them anything on his behalf.
You need to get your father placed in a facility ASAP. Can you afford a couple of months care while you wait for Medicaid to go through? If not, (and I hate to say this) but take him to the ER for some complaint (maybe diarrhea) and then refuse to take him home. Explain you take care of your small grandchildren and they have come in contact with your fathers feces. That should start an immediate emergency placement while Medicaid is "pending".
I had to place my mom (stage 6 Alz) when she started being incontinent of stool. My hubby (her part time caregiver) drew the line at poop. 💩
Good luck. I know you are ready to tear your hair out. 😩
Too bad FIL (a former MD?) was financially irresponsible, but that doesn't mean YOU have to pay the price for it (which you are doing right now, correct, including a particularly high emotional price). I think you also mentioned in an earlier post that your own child(ren) haven't gotten the attention that they should have?
Things have gotten considerably worse than your posts of 5 months ago, yes? What was the result of all the testing that you wrote was going to be done?
You do NOT have to be stuck in this endless "chitpalooza" (word coined in another thread)!