Mom lives alone, is 90, doesn't walk well so uses a walker (most of the time.)
She's fallen a few times. Has medical alert, the wristband, which worked well until about 6 months ago when she fell & passed out, so didn't press the button.
So we got the medical alert upgrade, the pendant, to NOTICE when she falls.
Well she's accidentally triggered it 4 or 5 times. She has the medical alert box in her bedroom, plus a phone w/answering machine in the bedroom and another phone in the living room.
When it goes off and they call her through the box or phone, she usually doesn't answer. Says she doesn't hear it. Doesn't want to check her voice messages, though she will respond if she hears one of my sisters hollering at her through the speaker.
My sisters and I think it's a combination of things - her hearing is getting worse, she doesn't move very fast, and she just doesn't care anymore.
Both of my sisters live within 10 minutes of her (I live a couple of hours away), but we're hoping there are better options. My husband was thinking of something like a two-way radio; but even if that's a good idea, I don't know if she could learn how to use it, or WOULD.
We hate to move her out of her home just because she won't answer the phone, but we're kind of at our wit's end. There are other signs too, that she doesn't care or doesn't remember. Will wet her bed, then just hang the wet pad and wet nightgown up to try - doesn't care that they're dirty. She used to eat cereal in the morning, and now she doesn't. We think it's too much work for her to go back & forth to get the milk, get the cereal, get the bowl, etc using her walker.
Anyway - any suggestions?
Thank you SOOO much.
Afterwards, said she was worn out but would be willing to go back.
TODAY - Mom had no problem going in, had enough energy to to not even slow down with her walker.
Enjoyed visiting. Was excited to have turkey for lunch. Decided to stay for bingo (didn't mind at all if my sister left her there for a couple of hours) and won a prize.
One of the ladies there commented that mom was probably the oldest person there that day, but also the sharpest!
She was animated and talking in the car on the way home too.
I'm so glad she had a good day; at least for now we'll take her there more often.
There are many activities in senior centers that provide seniors with socialization.
You can view on your phone. I am sure that your siblings can be linked in as well.
I have recently found out that if you have "Alexa" you can "drop in" on someone that also has Alexa. This might be a way for you to communicate, she does not have to answer the phone just talk.
You say you do not want to move her out of the house "just because she won't answer the phone" but it is much more than that.
She is falling,
She does not hear well
She does not always use a walker.
She may not be eating properly
Her hygiene is not as it should be
What other ADL's might she be having trouble with.
This is more than ...she won't answer the phone.
Do you think not washing urine soaked sheets and nighties is okay?
Is she washing her hands?
Could she get out in a fire? Or would she "not care"?
It's not that she doesn't care. It's that her brain has stopped processing the steps she needs to do, in what order to accomplish tasks.
She needs either full time in home care supervision or to be in a facility. Finances usually dictate that choice.
Good luck!
1) She should not be living alone now. Period.
2) Sisters, living 10 m away take turns to stay overnight,
along with
3) getting overnight care providers.
This is a/nother accident waiting to happen.
Gena / Touch Matters
She needs care 24/7, whether that comes from her children or she's moved into Assisted Living or Memory Care Assisted Living depending on her level of cognitive impairment. Please address this matter before a life threatening crisis occurs and it's too late to save her life.
She needs to be in full-time care.
About a device, you could get her a smartwatch. My Apple Watch has a feature that registers a hard fall. It then makes sure I’m okay. It can notify 911 if I’m not. However, your mom probably wouldn’t be able to understand or use it. She might not realize that she must faithfully charge it and then put it on correctly. And it isn’t infallible. There are times when it hasn’t responded to a hard fall at all.
Good luck with getting mom the help she needs.
Mom had a fall pendant for years. She was about 80% compliant in using it, but uf it smacked against her walker (frequently) it would go off. Luckily her hearing was fine and she could communicate with the dispatcher.
The day she died, no one was home. She got up, and fell back down on the bed. That alarm went off and notified YB who was at church. He ran back home and found her. Better than one of the 'kids' wandering in and finding her, gone.
My MIL has thrown away every single alert pendant, watch, button, whatever. She sets them off by smacking them on the wall or counter top, is almost 100% deaf and cannot hear the 'squawk box'--so more than once, my Dh and his YS have shown up same time as the EMT's. They're preparing to break a window to get in b/c she doesn't come to the door--and when one of the kids unlocks the door, she is inevitably shocked to see all these people there.
Embarassed, she threw away THAT pendant and everything they've given her since. Her pride will truly go before the fall.
End of story? You CANNOT make someone wear their fall pendant. Period.
I'm sorry to say, but that, and the fact she is undisturbed by the wet clothing--she's probably ready for in home help or a move to a NH.
Prayers
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