Mom's short term memory is basically gone, it will last about 10 second. Today a neighbor visited and saw the dog was ill. The dog threw-up after drinking water, and mom cleaned it up. 10 seconds later she had no memory of the event. Should this be the last straw before moving mom into assisted living? BTW I live 5 hours away and the only son. Another family member lives 2 hours away.
She believe she is doing well (she's not) and wants to die in her house. Looking for guidance. Thanks.
Mom also needs to be evaluated for what she needs (check with the Area Council of Aging or Social Services in her area. For long term, you and the other family member need to move mom to the appropriate care facility. Research on line and narrow down the top contenders and take some time to visit them to find the facility that fit her needs the best.
The other option is to move mom closer to you or the other family member. Each of you should also look at your area for care facilities.
This is a lot to take in and do in a short amount of time. Take a deep breath and work on it one step at a time. Best of luck.
The story keeps changing, but her concerns is she feels very safe/secure in her house and does not want to leave it. She wants to die in her own home. I have suggested we can try the new places as a vacation for short term, but she is set in her ways.
She also gets lost during the night trying to get back to her bedroom. When she is staying with us.
We can agree that mom should not be living alone.
The options then are..
*caregivers hired (paid for by mom) and care for her 24/7.
*placing her in a Memory Care facility
*moving in with a family member that has a house that is SAFE and will accommodate her as she declines AND is willing to care for her. And caregivers will be needed to help out as well.
There is no easy answer, any of these would be a tough decision. Caring for someone with dementia is not easy. You must think about your life, your family.
Time for placement for her.
It is in her best interests to be somewhere that she can be looked after and I hope the same goes for her dog. In the meantime, is there someone who can take the dog to the vet?