Anyone caring for two family members at home? My Mom, who I have taken care of for 9 yrs. now, needs changing 3-4 times a day and now doesn't know when she is wet. Our used sofa has had several 'accident's from her in a week. I know she feels bad about it, so I try not to act like I'm upset. I was in the other room tonight and came back and found her chewing on my computer power cord! I am waiting till her house sells to put her in a group home, though Dad made me promise years ago, before he passed, not to put her in a 'home.' Husband on medication for almost two decades of severe epilepsy. He also has agoraphobia, depression and panic attacks, but has to supplement with alternative self medication to cope. He also falls when he has had too much and wants my help to get him up, which takes one to two hours every time. Anyone have similar experiences?
CW makes the practical suggestions, which will also avoid both your mother's being anxious/humiliated and your bursting a blood vessel pretending not to mind. Pull ups are much more comfortable than they used to be; and the high absorbency mats look like normal upholstery and are fully washable.
I am glad you have found a way round that misguided promise to your father, and hope there is light at the end of the tunnel for you there.
Now then. Who is in charge of your husband's care? - him or you? It sounds as if it's him, but I just wondered if you have tried or would feel able to exert any influence on it.
I got the peapod mats and that helped a lot. they are thicker and washable. Expensive to buy but it is only a one time expense, other than washing them.
Check them out at peapodmats.com