She has a horrible habit of badmouthing any person that’s out of the room, or ear shot.
Here’s an example: I brought my mother to get a blood test at a walk-in clinic, it was the third stop we did on all day outing that included two doctor visits, a trip to the bank, and some grocery shopping. She’s 90, no longer drives, but is able to get around without much assistance.
I stayed in the waiting room. Little did my mother know, the soundproofing there was nonexistent, and I could hear everything that was being said. As I sat there I heard her say to the lab technician, who was Chinese and spoke very little English, that her children didn’t care about her, and never help her.
On average I take off one day a month from work to bring her to her numerous appointments and errands. I usually sit in on all the doctor appointments, as I am her health care proxy.
I got kind of fed up and told her that I wouldn’t be able to take her to the following month’s appointments and that she would have to make other arrangements.
Should I have confronted her on it after we left the office? Or is it better just to let things roll of our backs?
Thanks for listening.
Is this lack of gratitude a relatively new behavior for your mother? Has she shown some paranoia since her stroke (or coronary event -- can't tell from your profile)? Does she have any signs of dementia?
Or is this horrible habit one that she has been practicing for decades? Have you ever brought it to her attention before?
Since a stroke a few months ago her speech is slurred such that you can't understand her much and she decided she didn't need her phone any more.. No-one else calls and I've been visiting 2 or 3 times a week, running her errands and so on but it's becoming increasingly difficult and downright depressing. Occasionally she'll call from a hallway phone to find out what I'm doing and/or to pick a fight.
Last visit she'd dropped the tv remote the night before and staff couldn't find it and her radio wasn't working well so take it back to the store. The remote was found (I suspect she hid it just to see everyone run around searching for it) and no, I don't have the receipt, it's a cheapie and I'm not driving for an hour to take the radio back, chuck it out.
I may take a nap but, if I do, I'll have to take the phone with me in case she calls. Depending on the mood, if I don't answer she may try to call the cops and cause even more chaos. Although I don't live too far away, I've never given her my address, just the name of a nearby village, though of course the NH has my address for billing purposes. I may have to eventually change my phone number and make it unlisted. It's all crazy making.
So, I guess you have to gauge if she is narcissistic or just getting old to decided what to do. In my case it only made my mother more hostile to me because she holds grudges and never lets anything go. So tread softly.