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So mom's tooth fell out yesterday. I could not get her in yesterday so made an appointment for first thing this morning at 7:30. Mom ate breakfast and brushed her teeth, etc. When it was time to go she pushed me almost down the stairs and said "I'm not going." She is getting combative and I'm afraid she might push me from behind or something going out the back steps. Should I call EMT and have her taken to the hospital and they can place her from there? I'm just afraid if she gets more combative before being placed that someone will get hurt.

Just something for new caregivers to consider: a 7:30am appointment for *any* reason may be too early for a very elderly person. My now-95-yr-old Mom was an early bird before she entered her mid-80s. Nowadays I never scehdule an appointment for her before 10am. She just can't move very fast, phyically or mentally, anymore. You can't rush seniors, especially ones with dementia and doubly if they have mobility issues like arthritis.
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AlvaDeer May 21, 2024
He/she--the dentist--may have actually opened early just to see her in this emergency. It is a great shame she didn't get there as the dentist is unlikely to be that kind again. I surely agree with you in general, but Roger was probably beset with constant pain and complaints until shoved at the stairs and told no, so....................my sympathies to Roger.
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Well I had to fight her almost to get her there but she is better now. I also have a room set up and she is ready to move to memory care at the end of the month. I will be very happy and relieved to know she is in a safe environment. She was not supposed to go to the facility until the middle of the month next month but I pushed it forward today after her episode this morning. I walked in the living room after getting coffee and she was mixing her pain pills in her yogurt and was trying to eat it. I caught her just in time and made her spit them out (about 20 gabapentin). If I had not been there she would have overdosed. THAT DID IT FOR ME FOR SURE. Just letting everyone know she is on her way to a facility.
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waytomisery May 21, 2024
Is Mom in the ER now ? Where is she ? “ Almost fight “ to get her where ?
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Good move - so she will be moving into memory care by end of May?
that is good as it is soon
Have been following your posts, and it sounds like this placement is much needed
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Rogerwyatt7890 May 21, 2024
Thanks so much. Yes it will be better for both of us. I am already feeling relieved but stressed about it at the same time. So much more work to be done like selling the house and assets, etc. EEEEECK very tiring. I look forward to the day when I can sleep through the night without worrying about wandering and sundowning.
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very sad rough day for you - take it easy
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"They were kind enough to let her squish in this afternoon.".

I am so glad she will be going to Memory Care by the end of the month.
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Forget about the tooth and yes call 911 and get her placed in a facility. It seems mom is getting more out of control than you can handle. They have people in the hospital that are trained to deal with this type of behavior. People have been killed or seriously injured from falling down the stairs.
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Roger, I see below that you say that there is a sharp part of the broken tooth still stuck there.
I have to tell you that this is life threatening.

Now it is not her decision for care, and because you already told us she has dementia this is kind of on you to get her care whether she wants it or not. That means you let 911 know about the broken tooth and your fear of sepsis with this new behavior (a very valid fear).

Teeth that break off expose the root and infection can quickly set in. There may be transfer then to the blood stream. Sepsis would mean that the organs quickly begin to shut down one at a time. It means death if not treated. My brother died from a miniscule tiny abrasion on his shin that didn't heal, and that he put ointments on, ignoring it. It was so small that, despite his wearing shorts all the time, NO ONE noticed it, yet it infected and the infection entered his blood stream. He died of it. In his case, he longed for death; he had little to look forward to at 85 other than the progression of his early Lewy's dementia.

But I am here to tell you that at this point your mother is at risk of death from something as simple as a fractured tooth.
She must get care.
Speak to her MD at the least today.
Unless you wish to let nature take its course and are willing to be responsible for that choice now your Mom no longer can be.
It's up to you really.
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Yes, call 911. She assaulted you and she needs to go to the ER.
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You've got my prayers. Roger. Glad your dd is helping.
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That would be my suggestion, Roger.
I would call EMS and say your mother "attacked" you and pushed you, nearly toppling you down the stairs. If that tooth is not just fallen out completely from the gum, but has broken off she could be getting septic, and infection, so tell them about the tooth and the plan for emergency dental gone wrong this a.m. Tell them she could have a UTI because this combativeness is "unlike her" and you are fearful something (even possibly a stroke) is going on.

In order to get EMS to take her in you are going to have to truly "ham this up" (sorry to be so blunt) because otherwise EMS will say "She doesn't want to go and she is competent and able to decide this on her own". You are going to have to say "Something dire is happening; this isn't my mom."

Yes, once there, don't take mom home. Tell them she needs full assessment by neuro-psyc and that you cannot handle her at home. Ask for Social Services. Tell them all you have been trying and tell them you want her placed; it's no longer safe at home. That will hopefully HOPEFULLY get the ball rolling.

Hope you'll update us and good luck.
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