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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I would not take chemo myself, as a retired RN. Discuss options with MD. They may move to minimal side effect medications by mouth, or suggest palliative care or hospice. Your mother is perhaps not so much bitter, as resigned to death, and not wishing to pass tortured to death. Time to discuss what your Mom wants with HER; she is the one involved. If she wishes to stop treatment and enter comfort care please allow her to do so, and pass with ease and peace.
I have read your first post. A lot of us responded that we thought that at 90 with Dementia putting Mom thru chemo was probably not a good idea. So now she has tried it and doesn't want to continue. I would not force the issue.
I agree, its time for Hospice. They will make her comfortable and pain free. I would call her doctor and get recommendations. There are good and bad but all bill Medicare and have to abide by Medicares criteria. A nurse will check in about 3x a week. An aide will be provided to bathe about 3x a week and if requested you may get more time to run errands.
We just had a post concerning a Hospice Nurse. She was not ordering depends and wipes. The OP was paying out of pocket. Medicare pays for diapers, wipes, prescriptions, hospital bed, oxygen if needed, etc. Its up to the nurse to order all supplies and arrange for any equipment needed. I always received a folder with all the information in it. I would also suggest that you and one other person be there when the nurse comes to admit Mom and explain what they do. That way there are 2 sets of ears. The Nurse comes to the house about 3x a week but should be on call 24/7. You should call her with any questions you have. Also, someone may have to be with Mom 24/7.
You honor her wishes, and let her live out the rest of her life the way she wants, not the way you want it. it is her life. I'm sure when the time comes for you, that you wouldn't want family members interfering with your decision, so just make sure that she's comfortable and as pain free as possible. You should probably get hospice involved sooner than later as well, so they can help with that. God bless you.
We have hospice in- no more chemo. She’s depressed and appears to be going down quickly. My son and family are coming for a masking visit tomorrow. She’s excited about that!!!😂
Oh gosh--honor her wishes. Make palliative care availble for her and be supportive of her decisions to not do chemo.
I was dxed with NHL 18 months ago and my first thought was 'Ok, let's get this." I was only 63.
I did get remission from the cancer and did 6 rounds of FU chemo---but I made the decision that when the cancer returns, no matter how old I am, I am not going to ever do chemo again. I was so sick and I realized that while my kids/grandkids love me, they will be FINE when I go. I am just now--going on 2 years, still having side effects from the chemo that appear to be permanent.
Nobody will fight me on this, I have been adamant about it and we don't even discuss it. I just don't want pain, and I do not want to be a burden!
My mother is 94 with dementia and talks about how she wants to die almost on a daily basis. I would never encourage her to take any life extending measures at this stage of the game.
Please honor your mother's wishes, as you are doing. I know how tough it is to watch a loved one take the final leg of their journey. My prayers are with you all for a quick and pain free passage to the next phase of your mom's eternal life.
I do not blame your mother . She has a right to make that choice and I certainly would respect it. Difficult as it is for LO, but more difficult for the person who is going through such difficulty. Speak to her doctor and get her on hospice asap if not already. My thoughts and prayers are with your mom and family.
The normal human lifespan is approximately 80 years. There are many people in their eighties who are still spry and active, but not that many in their nineties. It is probably her time, sad as that is. There is no reason to try treatments that make someone miserable when it is unlikely she would live many more years after this. She should do what she can to make her remaining time as pleasant and rewarding as possible. At some point, everyone dies of something.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I agree, its time for Hospice. They will make her comfortable and pain free. I would call her doctor and get recommendations. There are good and bad but all bill Medicare and have to abide by Medicares criteria. A nurse will check in about 3x a week. An aide will be provided to bathe about 3x a week and if requested you may get more time to run errands.
We just had a post concerning a Hospice Nurse. She was not ordering depends and wipes. The OP was paying out of pocket. Medicare pays for diapers, wipes, prescriptions, hospital bed, oxygen if needed, etc. Its up to the nurse to order all supplies and arrange for any equipment needed. I always received a folder with all the information in it. I would also suggest that you and one other person be there when the nurse comes to admit Mom and explain what they do. That way there are 2 sets of ears. The Nurse comes to the house about 3x a week but should be on call 24/7. You should call her with any questions you have. Also, someone may have to be with Mom 24/7.
So sorry your family is going thru this.
My son and family are coming for a masking visit tomorrow. She’s excited about that!!!😂
I was dxed with NHL 18 months ago and my first thought was 'Ok, let's get this." I was only 63.
I did get remission from the cancer and did 6 rounds of FU chemo---but I made the decision that when the cancer returns, no matter how old I am, I am not going to ever do chemo again. I was so sick and I realized that while my kids/grandkids love me, they will be FINE when I go. I am just now--going on 2 years, still having side effects from the chemo that appear to be permanent.
Nobody will fight me on this, I have been adamant about it and we don't even discuss it. I just don't want pain, and I do not want to be a burden!
Please honor your mother's wishes, as you are doing. I know how tough it is to watch a loved one take the final leg of their journey. My prayers are with you all for a quick and pain free passage to the next phase of your mom's eternal life.
My mother in law knew as well.
So did my dad.
She had an extremely difficult time with her cancer treatments.
She went into remission for five years.
She confided in me that she always had a fear of her cancer returning.
It did return and came back with a vengeance!
When it returned, there was no hope.
She was dying. She chose not to prolong the agony.
She did not wish to endure the suffering to possibly extend her life for a short amount of additional time and died at age 68.
Sometimes it is just too hard to continue moving forward with treatments.
I would accept the way your mom feels. She’s ready to go. Hospice is the best choice.