My mother has dementia, but she can express her wishes and can convey intelligently her needs. My stepfather passed away in August and he was the one who took care of my mother. They were snowbirds and used to go back-and-forth from Florida to Maryland. Six months before he passed they sold everything in Florida and went to their home that they owned in Maryland full-time. My mother could not stay in that home by herself. She was originally going to come live with me in South Carolina but the day of the funeral, she changed her mind and decided to go to Florida with my sister. My sister is a control freak to say the least… the day after the funeral, she took my mom and became POA And took her to Florida. She has her in an assistant living facility which is fine, but my mother is not happy. She has no access to her money or any decisions. My sister is in full charge. My mom wants to sell the house in Maryland but my sister won’t let her , my sister wants to use the house or buy the house unsure to use for her own use. My sister has not been paying the bills as she should. The funeral home had a track me down in November because it has not been paid. now I find out that the taxes on my mother’s house have not been paid and might go into foreclosure. I feel my sister is definitely having power of attorney abuse. I have no money for a lawyer. My mother’s money is tied up with my sister. She has to ask her for everything. My mother is super unhappy with my sister. She states that she scares her. She yells at her all the time and tells her she’s incompetent to do anything. I just feel that my sister is not doing right by my mother. my mother is very unhappy and I don’t know what legal Actions I can take. every time I talk to my mother she says please help me I don’t know what to do and my hands are tied I feel. Any advise would be great … I am heartbroken for my mom and the stress is not good for her… She states she wants to come to Myrtle Beach now and stay near me but I don’t know how to make that happen.
If that is not a probability then you could petition to become her Guardian.
This is not easy, it is not inexpensive and it WILL cause a rift between siblings.
Do know with dementia your mom will probably not be happy with you and the decisions you make either.
And if you plan on taking her into your home caring for a person with dementia is not easy, it becomes a full time 24/7/365 job.
Or, if you are truly certain that your Mom has most of her cognitive capacity then you can take PoA documents to her to authorize and reassign PoA to you (and then you will need to finalize those in whatever way her home state or yours requires) but then this would be more contestable by sister.
But if it turns out your Mom doesn't have enough legal capacity, then guardianship is the only option.
He/she will assist you in going before a court to ask for an accounting of POA by sister.
This will be costly.
The attorney will be happy to tell you just HOW costly.
The FIRST STEP your attorney may take may be to speak with your mother and her POA and possibly with doctors regarding competency. So consider hiring one where mother lives as this greatly adds on to costs.
Consider also that this will utterly RUIN any hope of a relationship with sister (though I would imagine you don't care about this fact.)
For the most part I would say that your sister was appointed by your mother.
Your mother is in care (which few people DO enjoy, in fact).
Your sister is doing ALL POA work including financial for the mother.
I was POA for my brother for ALL things, and appointed by him to be so.
I was Trustee for my brother in ALL things, and appointed by him to be so.
I have no siblings. But IF I DID, then all I can say is God help them if they came at me while I did that difficult and heartbreaking task to criticize how it was done.