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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
She is 79 and going through treatment for stage 4 colon cancer. The chemo is stopping the active cells so it is working but she is just sad. She lives with me and is very weak and very dependant where she use to be the opposite. She does not drink enough fluids or eat enough so her energy level is nill. Doctor has her on antidepressants but nothing has changed. She does not engage conversation or read or watch tv or laugh or anything anymore. She just sits there.
Have you tried small meals every 2 hrs? Will she drink shakes or flavored water? There is little bottles of different flavors that you can add to what I call regular water. What about doing outside? Talk about the trees, clouds or what you see. Is there a counselor at the cancer center for you and for her? Does she stays with you? Change place she is sitting and read to her. The Mitford Series by Jan Karon is great. A chapter at a time. You can get these at the library too... Does she attend church? Is there a church near by where you could call to get a volunteer to visit her.
I have tried all that you suggested. She has had several options put in front of her to drink and eat. She just takes a few bites of food and gets full. Same with the fluids. She is a strong christian woman who was always the rock of our family and everyone is just so sad to see her this way. She has a church and those church friends have come to visit her. She just won't engage. Thank you for your advice though.
My mom won't engage either. It's like trying to talk to a cardboard cutout. She is also dull and flat affect. This is not for lack of trying on my part. She doesn't want to do anything. Nothing I cook for her is to her liking. She is "just there."
I am experiencing this with my mother-in-law. She is 92, and almost totally blind. She doesn't smile or laugh. It's easier for me to accept, perhaps because of her age, that she might be done with trying and that she's preparing to give up and be done with life. Your mom is still very young. Regardless of age, though, health and life are a personal journey - people do what they must, just as we will have to do someday. The caregiver journey means having to accept all kinds of things we would rather not accept. I am doing more accepting these days, because to do otherwise and be constantly fighting some of these inevitabilities just wears me down too much.
I still struggle with the "nobody is there" looks I get from my mom. I really try but talking to her is like talking to a blank wall. It's a real struggle and somehow I blame myself....................... I am a gregarious person and very easy to talk to but when alone in a room with my mom.........................I feel so uneasy. Again it's like she's there but she's not there. Anyone else have this issue?
I agree with someone above who suggested read to her. Possibly the Bible. Also, have you tried any books on tape for her to listen to? Something inspirational in music? Will she talk at all? Maybe you can ask her what kind of communication she would like to have with you...IPad, verbal, signs,pointing to words...?
Maria, it's hard isn't it? My mom used to be the social one, I would come home and she would fill me in on all the news of the neighbourhood. Now it's up to me, and since I spend my days alone with her there is no news, and when I do have something to tell her she doesn't seem to care.
jab don't mean to scare you but perhaps your Mom feels she has outlived her purpose here on earth and is ready to go. My Mom was similar to how you described shortly before she passed. I think she was just ready to go and be with her savior.
Talk to her about it if you think that would help. Have a frank discussion with her. She just might surprise you and be honest with you. Good Luck to you!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My mom used to be the social one, I would come home and she would fill me in on all the news of the neighbourhood. Now it's up to me, and since I spend my days alone with her there is no news, and when I do have something to tell her she doesn't seem to care.
Talk to her about it if you think that would help. Have a frank discussion with her. She just might surprise you and be honest with you. Good Luck to you!