Follow
Share

I've posted about my 93 yr uncle (Mom's brother before) he is now forcing Mom go to a party for his grandson who is 26 years old, party is most his friends the same age, held outdoors in 90 degree weather. Over 100 people attending and not vaccinated, no Covid protocols, nobody cares. They are anti-vaxxers. My Mom is 85 and vaccinated and was very careful during Covid, Uncle told her if she doesn't go he will never talk to her again and make sure his family will not attend her funeral in the future, now my older sister got involved and driving her, telling me it's rude not to go, so basically theres nothing I can do about it. We had a conversation about this many times and Mom promised me she wouldn't go now she does a 360 and my sister is siding with uncle and driving there. Of course I'm not going, at this point I give up, should i just walk away?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
The Serenity Prayer: Repeat it Often

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Yes. Just walk away.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I could almost giggle about threatening to keep the family away from your mother’s funeral, but this bully obviously sucks the Grace and humor out of every thought he utters.

This is why I sometimes think that even though it CAN be more work, being a “Lonely ONly” child is sometimes MUCH EASIER than coping with sibling/relatives like yours.

The worst of it is that no matter how things go in the immediate future, “the Ripples” are apt to remain indefinitely.

So sorry all the way around.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Yes. They sound like idiots. If your mom is competent it's her own choice. But for your sanity let it go.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

What a bully. Is mom never going to stand up to him?
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

"So basically there's nothing I can do about it".
You answered your own question. There is nothing you can do about it except walk away. Also, you are not wrong for deciding to stay away from a party with that many people who not only aren't vaccinated, but who observe no Covid safety protocols.
The next time mom needs something or gets sick, tell her to call her brother and your sister.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Marcie, you posted this back in June:

"just an update: My Mom has been complaining to me everyday for hours about how badly she was abused by my Uncle, last night my husabnd took her to ER beause she was having pain in her legs, she told us she was on her knees cleaning uncles floors which she did not tell me when she came back. She has a hairline fracture in her knee which is already arthritic. Me, my husband and my siblings had a long talk with my Mom who agreed she will not call her her brother. That he is very abuse and she promised to keep her distance.
Today she broke her promise and called him and the same pattern is happening all over. I really give up at this point and feel hurt and let down by this. I just feel like walking away. Obviously theres nothing I can do, she lies and calls him."

Can you get your mom to a psychiatrist or other mental health professional?

Is there a cultural component to this thralldom that your mom is under? It almost sounds like a delusion if there isn't a big component of machismo.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
marcie88 Aug 2021
thanks, Mom is definitely delusional and has always been a people pleaser, My Uncle has always been bossy, manipulative, narcissistic. He is wealthy, my Mom is not, he always used that as a form of control and abuse. She is afraid to stand up to him because she fears he will never talk to her again and also his family will cut her off as well. When my Dad was alive, he backed off but was still intruding as my parents had many arguements about him. After my Dad passed away, uncle became very controlling. He used the pandemic to further carry out his abusive behaviour. Since my older sister has now taken sides with him, looks like he's winning.
(0)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter