Granted she’s not a child in daycare, but she kinda is... I hear nothing unless directly from mom (which I sometimes wonder if true), see with my own eyes, or get so upset we have to call a meeting.
I feel a lot of the residents are placed here and forgotten by family.
Shouldn’t I expect more?
If you want to keep an eye on what she's up to and how she's doing, the facility should welcome your interest and answer any questions you have. I know that in some facilities each resident has a contact journal for use by staff and visitors, too; though I have to admit that in our case I seemed to be the only person who ever read it, let alone wrote anything in it - e.g. "is there anybody there...?!"
I think to expect them to update you as a matter of routine is probably asking rather a lot, though. As you sadly note, many of the residents won't have anyone who's interested in hearing; and of course in even a good facility the staff have enough to do looking after their charges.
How do the staff respond when you get in touch? I wouldn't wait 'til something's worrying you a lot. Maybe work on developing a kind of schedule, so that you ring for an update once a week or so. And make a point of passing on compliments as well as concerns.
if mom is not a behavior problem and health and weight are holding steady, then there is no problem and you'd likely never get a call
That being said if you are the POA and you want a update on your loved one condition then you have a right to request that and the home should honor that request. You as POA can call anytime and request an update on your loved one's condition.
If your loved one is in a skilled nursing home then you also have the Care Plan every three months which you as a family member should be notified of. During this Care Plan you will get an update of your loved one's condition and staff at that time should address any concerns that you have.
Nurses and aids are not activity directors and the odds of them knowing any information is slim. Unless the facility has aides double as active assistants, which means they have less time to call family and report.
If you are visiting frequently then watch from a distance to see how she is doing in activities. I hid to watch my dad so I knew how he was taking to it all.
From my experience if you want to know, you need to be present, no one can be expected to care for the residents and report to family. It is asking to much. Imagine if they had to add that to their already over full day, even if it was just a 5 minute call, it would take a half hour to get all the information from everyone involved in moms care. When would they have time to actually take care of people.
As others have said, the staff is so busy and turnover is usually high. Your actual visit will tell you more, especially about her mental & behavioral status. I also do a physical check off and on. Check toes for any sign of fungus, nail care; check her bottom for proper peri-care, etc.