Not the best facility due to money constraints / Medicaid. Mom has been there 6 weeks, over the past week she has had three BAD falls, one needing a trip to ER for head scan - which seemed ok apparently (even though she has the biggest lump on the back of her head I have ever seen!). Is this common? I am so frustrated with the lack of care she is receiving. I am sick to my stomach every single day.
The only thing that has improved is I have been able to sleep at night now (most of the time if I can stop THINKING and worrying so much).
What have others experienced?
I wanted to tell you that my mother lives in Memory Care and has fallen a total of 46x; 36x in Assisted Living and now 10x in the Memory Care section of the same place. It's never been 'their fault'........it's due to her mobility issues, neuropathy in her feet/legs, dementia, and her refusal to ask for help, among other factors. So please don't blame yourself or say that you don't know if you can forgive yourself for something that wasn't your fault to begin with. You can't save a person from dementia, nor can you prevent them from falling. When I was working in a Memory Care home, the residents fell ALL the time, through no fault of the staff. Several people fell, broke their necks and passed away very quickly after being taken to the hospital. In a way it was a blessing because advanced dementia is nothing but suffering and heartache for all concerned.
Sending you a big hug and a prayer for you to find peace with all of this, my friend. Wishing you all the best moving forward.
On 4/5/2020 she was taken to the ER because she was unresponsive at 7AM at the facility. That was the first time I got to see her since 3/12/2020. I was told that she was having seizures and a CT showed that she had a fractured skull and brain bleed. She was put on anti-seizure meds and the following day moved to hospice (as her advanced directives are clear that she did not want to have any unusual means taken to sustain her life).
Mom died on 4/14/2020. After only 70 days at a Memory Care facility. I am heartbroken and I don't know if I will ever be able to forgive myself. The only thing I keep hanging on to is that as she was falling deeper and deeper into the horrific time she was having with dementia (she was diagnosed with late onset bvFTD) - she would, during her more lucid moments, beg God to take her. She hated what was happening to her, and did not want to live any longer. Being able to be with her during those last nine days - I feel it was her last gift to me - even though she never regained consciousness, she seemed so peaceful and calm. I talked to her, read to her and listened to music with her - and she passed as I was holding her hand. I don't think there was a moment during those days that I didn't pray and hope that she would open her eyes and be "better", but deep down I knew that even if she did open her eyes, she would not be better. She would not be the mother I have wanted to have back for the last couple years. That woman was already lost, I could not have her back. So it was time for her to shed this 'broken' shell of a physical body - so that her beautiful spirit could pass on to the next life. She is with her Mother now. Her sister who she loved dearly, and her best friend Shirlie. She is also back to being my guiding light - the mother I wanted back. It took her death to get her back. But I miss her so much. I know she would want me to forgive myself for moving her to Memory Care facility, I just need to figure out how to do that.
......
My mother is in an aged care facility as averse to a nursing home. They are slightly different where the law is concerned, basically have the same services (apart from memory care units which can be difficult to find). My mother had sufficient assets to be able to pay a big bond into a really good aged care facility, has been in memory care unit for almost the entire 12 months she has been there.She suffers 3 types of dementia, possibly a 4th, sometimes is really compliant and lovely, other times she becomes the devil incarnate. At those times she is very difficult to deal with so the staff keep investigating ways to keep her safe.
One of the problems the government investigation has been looking at is falls and how to combat them. It is the norm now for all facilities to have hospital-type beds which can be raised and lowered according to needs as well as being adjusted for sitting and for raising of feet level. But they usually are still about 2' off the floor at their lowest extension. In the memory care unit it is usual for crash pads and bed alarms to be used, although in the open section these are limited.
My mother was continually falling out when she was agitated. Even when in hospital where they DO use restraints in some circumstances, she would still try to get out of bed and had a few falls. As a result she also has to be specialed every time she enters hospital. Even they do not have these special beds.
The facility has been trialling a new bed which has all the usual bells and whistles but the bed frame can be lowered to be sitting on the floor. Add to that a thin mattress, put the crash pads around her and she more or less rolls out of bed and down no more than about 8" or 9". Yes, she occasionally sustains a skin tear but these seem to be more associated with a slip/tantrum throw out of her wheelchair.
My mother pays well above the basic fees and has the back up of being a gold card war widow, so it is possible that is how the facility managed to meet the expense of the bed. Staff are really pleased with the result. Yes, my mother is still labour intensive because it takes two staff and a sling lift to get her up, and she often objects - vehemently! But by and large it is saving many trips to the hospital and the dreadful impact that has on people with progressive advanced dementia.
I can thoroughly recommend these beds for those with elders in this situation. But I believe the cost is prohibitive so that will stop a lot of facilities even entertaining the thought of investing.
Be very careful.
Please don't be too harsh in your judgement of the home; it's a lot of work and not necessarily an upgrade to move her at this stage. Also, some facilities might not accept her (and you) if you come across as being angry with the current facility and speak badly about them; your Mom is also a big risk for a new place to take on, considering all the falls recently, and that you may be blaming the staff. Just some things you might want to carefully consider.
Since bringing her here, she has only had one fall, which was bad enough to take her to the ER - a few scrapes and bruises and a broken nose.
I had to go two blocks to pick up her prescription, but as her Dementia has worsened, she couldn't find me, so tried to go outside to find me and fell down the two steps off of our porch. Luckily a neighbor heard her and was tending to her and had called 911 as I came home.
So if placing her in a facility causes three falls a day or a week - don't know if I can deal with that. Mom is not aggressive or angry. Most often happy and content. Has Sundowners, which causes confusion an sometimes weepiness in the afternoon and/or eveningbut I can handle that.
So much this!
I was guardian and conservator over an aunt with dementia who was in a MC facility. In two weeks, she fell about 6 times! Most of the falls happened in her room at night. One happened during the day. An aide had just helped her get settled into a chair and walked away. My aunt promptly stood up, made a noise, the aide turned around and saw her tumble. I began to jump out of my skin every time my phone rang because it was always bad news about yet another fall.
The only way to totally prevent a fall is
a. Stay awake all night and stare at her and be ready to jump up and catch or prevent her from getting up and falling
b. Hire someone to do the above
c. Sedate and strap them to bed or chair
d. A combination of the things above
All of these are untenable. Therefore falls are going to happen.
Bed can be lowered to the floor so if she tries to get up there is less risk of injury.
Mats are also typically placed on the floor to cushion any fall.
Falls are common and for many reasons. And some are unavoidable.
Medications
Forgetting to use a walker
trying to stand up forgetting that they no longer have the ability
tired
weak
poor balance
and on and on.
Have you looked at any other facilities that would accept her? If so do they have a waiting list? If so put her name on the list.
Have you had a Care Plan meeting to discuss your concerns and to get the facilities take on what they are going to do to minimize future falls? If you have not had a meeting I suggest that you call and make an appointment for one so that you can get this out.
Your direct care-giving is over you have moved into the role of advocate and that can be even more of a challenge.
Sometimes they can fall when you are right next to them because it happens so fast you have to have lightening fast reflexes to catch them. So even at home with all the safeguards in place (lighteing, uncluttered room, fall mats, floor alarms, etc) they can still fall but mom rarely fell. REGARDLESS, it only takes one fall to be the big "game changer" when something breaks.
Make sure her physiologic needs are met. If they are constipated they feel uncomfortable and will wander trying to find relief. UTIs can make them more agitated and confused...or extremely lethargic which means they need to get checked for it in a HURRY.
1 Her knees are too weak to support her despite physio, sometimes she will have a UTI, sometimes delerium, sometimes she is confused, sometimes she wants to pay back staff for some imagined transgression and falls purposely.
2 When she gets too tired of being in her lift chair or wheel chair, or if she is having a dummy spit, she stiffens her legs and simply slides to the floor. Sometimes she will co operate with staff in the lifting process, other times she is aggressive. Our instructions are to leave her on the floor until she calms down, but then she accuses staff of putting her there in the first place.
3 Mother simply gets agitated and rolls out of bed. The facility has brought in a bed that folds down to floor level, tbey put crash pads around the bed, have alarms around the bed. Sometimes they find her crawling on all fours or pulling herself around on her bottom. Sometimes she insists on remaining on crash pads, she is given a blanket and pillow and will sleep much better than in the bed.
She has been known to fall several times a day for many days in a row. We estimate she has had in excess of 50 falls. Many of the calls from staff come in the middle of the night because mothers circadian rhythms are totally out of wack.
Our instructions are that she only goes to hospital if she hits her head, otherwise staff deal with any skin tears, monitor her closely for 4 hours. The trip is too confusing for her, she cannot answer questions, she often cannot follow simple instructions such as open her mouth and say Ah, so there is no point when they will only monitor her, no scan if there is no head injury.
I never thought I would say this, but it is all water off a ducks back, now. When the staff identify themselves in a phone call my response is usually a What has she done now? Said in a semi joking manner.
my Mom is in a Memory Care facility - but we do not seem to have the same things available to her as you are mentioning (alarms on bed, crash pads, lower / floor bed (??). Since she hasn’t been there long, and this is my first experience with working with a facility for her care - I really don’t know how aggressive to get with them - for example : the Dr. diagnosed a level 1 pressure wound (bed sore) last Friday, ordered skilled nursing to treat it & she didn’t see anyone for treatment 4 1/2 days! By then it was of course worse!! She’s suppose to ONLY get finger foods because she is having difficulty with cutlery - and if someone tries to help her she gets angry & aggressive - but we have been there at meal time several days where she did not get finger foods and had to tell them! We wonder how often this happens, since she does not know enough to ask.
She has been diagnosed with Late Onset bvFTD & is on Geodon as well as an antidepressant. She is under the care of a psychiatrist and does see a therapist weekly - although they have had little success working with her so far.
We kept her home as long as we physically & safely could, but I feel like it may have been too long & she will never settle. Did we do her an injustice by keeping her home too long? Shouldn’t Drs be more forthcoming with these types of things and help make more informed decisions? Now I feel we are just waiting for her to die and there will be little to no joy, no calm or peacefulness left for her.
Since nursing home cannot strap a patient into their bed or a wheelchair, the Staff had to hope for the best. Eventually the Staff found that stuffing pillow around my Mom when she was in bed helped a lot.... but it became painful on her back as she couldn't roll over in bed [twin size bed lined with pillows].
Mom would tumble out of her wheelchair trying to reach down onto the carpet thinking the pattern in the carpet was something solid and she wanted to get it out of the way. The Staff tried a seatbelt but my Mom was the master of unclicking the belt, especially riding in a car.
Pillows under her knees helped as it would take a lot of time for Mom to wrestle those pillows out.
Of course, with State rules, some nursing homes had to call the contact person [me] every time Mom had fallen. Just wished it wasn't 2 in the morning especially if Mom wasn't injured in the fall.... [sigh].
It goes with the territory for elders to fall, I'm afraid. I had ONE incident since 2014 where it was the ALFs fault that my father fell; the nurse was trying to lift him up alone and he fell. It was her fault, and she took full responsibility for it, and he wasn't hurt.
It is what it is. If you don't like the facility, look into moving your mother. But before you do, find out why she keeps falling..........is she slipping out of bed? Is she not following orders to use a walker? Is the floor slick with water? Otherwise, you will wind up moving her and finding the same fall issues in the next place.
Best of luck!
My mom had very mild dementia but could not understand that she needed help to get up and walk and wouldn’t use a walker. She started falling at home, finally got her in assisted living where she had 2 or 3 falls per week. We tried everything, I even hired a private sitter for 4 hours a day.
With each fall and injury her dementia deepened and she would try to walk even more and fall each time. It was maddening. I’ve sometimes wondered if there wasn’t some subconscious death wish going on with her. Mom died after four months of assisted living and memory care.
Its all very tough. You just do the best you can.
we just had a care plan meeting last week & keeling her in the wheelchair is an option, especially late in the day, however she is already showing signs of level 1 pressure sore (aka bed sores) - so they’d like her to walk more with assistance.
as bad as your mothers. Not certain this will help but I’d seek out the ombudsman person to share your concerns, as well as asking for a care plan meeting with the facility to see what can be done differently.
There are a plethora of ppl on this site with an abundance of knowledge, and hopefully they can offer you better advice.
Good Luck