Our mother lives in our parents house, our father in a care home near by. Our mother wants to isolate our father so he cannot receive calls from my sister and I and relatives who want to call him, whom she has years of bad history but they love our father. She has been diagnosed with control issues and paranoia. I put the phone service and phone in my name but she removed the phone anyway. My sister lives 200 miles away and I live 1500 miles away. The phone is the only way we can communicate with our father, other than quarterly trips to his busing home. Is this legal?
Good luck to you. Your heart is in the right place. Since your mother has these mental issues, I'm sure an attorney can help you get this taken care of.
Carol
Take care,
Carol
As Carol suggests, talk to the administrator. See if you can get a clearer picture of what is going on with your Dad, and what alternatives there are for communicating with him.
Is there any treatment for M.S.P.? Is Mom getting any help with it? I suggest you see a therapist for a few sessions -- not so much for your personal needs, but to try to figure out how to handle your mother's mental illness for the sake of your father.
It does seem like a change in POA would help. Since mother is constantly "on the brink of death" that should be a logical reason to give her for the change. (Not that logic is always effective with the mentally ill, of course.)
My heart goes out to all of you -- Mother, Dad, and family. This is a very sad and challenging situation.
And the really sad thing is that much of this time, my brother was also fighting for the life of his wife's father, and recently I am fighting for the life of my husband's mother. And there is my mother who calls and calls to terrorize all of us, and to tell us father is dying and to make everything about her. I still don't get that you can have a parent who is "in charge" of another parent who has the control of that person's life when you know she has almost destroyed the lives of others and is a hazard to herself PLUS her other family. At some point, when you know that someone is so totally out of touch with reality, you should be able to do something about them, other than let them be the "ruler" of their spouse, you should be able to do something about them,, but apparently that can't happen. I still belive it can, and I still think my bro will think what it is.
If you don't have an siblings, I don't know what to say, if you do, involve them,, like myself, my brother has brought me strength in times I didn't know if i could do it again. It doesn't matter if we find we are legally bound to something we don't like, at least we are on the same page and will fight for that page.
And the really sad thing is that much of this time, my brother was also fighting for the life of his wife's father, and recently I am fighting for the life of my husband's mother. And there is my mother who calls and calls to terrorize all of us, and to tell us father is dying and to make everything about her. I still don't get that you can have a parent who is "in charge" of another parent who has the control of that person's life when you know she has almost destroyed the lives of others and is a hazard to herself PLUS her other family. At some point, when you know that someone is so totally out of touch with reality, you should be able to do something about them, other than let them be the "ruler" of their spouse, you should be able to do something about them,, but apparently that can't happen. I still belive it can, and I still think my bro will think what it is.
If you don't have an siblings, I don't know what to say, if you do, involve them,, like myself, my brother has brought me strength in times I didn't know if i could do it again. It doesn't matter if we find we are legally bound to something we don't like, at least we are on the same page and will fight for that page.