Follow
Share

I don't understand someone who dwells in the past so I'm having a hard time understanding why my mother would miss her family and home when there's nobody there. Is it just the familiarity of it?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
It is the disease talking, nothing more. If you took her to the childhood home or where she lived before she would not recognize either.

Just say ok, we will see what we can do, and move on. As the disease progresses, she will forget all about it.

Don't over think anything when dealing with someone who has dementia, none of it will make any sense. Their brains are broken.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
cdavis76 Feb 28, 2024
Thank you. Thinking about it that way helps.
(0)
Report
You don’t mention that your mom has dementia in your profile. She has several other health concerns.

It’s normal to grieve the loss of being independent and missing a home where loads of memories are stored.

Give her time to adjust and if you feel like she needs medication to help with any depression or anxiety, then please notify her doctor.

Wishing you peace as you continue on your caregiving journey.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
cdavis76 Feb 28, 2024
No she hasn’t been diagnosed with dementia. It’s her organs. Heart. Lungs. She walks with a walker. She’s 67 and she looks 80.
(3)
Report
See 2 more replies
I have had the same thing with mom, and I have recently realized that what aging have, they have the past, the future for them is scary. The past gives them comfort, there memories make them happy. As long as they are happy memories.my dad would dwell on horrible memories. So I'm trying to be more understanding of that and receptive, let mom share a bit more, but then maybe try changing the subject because I get really board.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
cdavis76 Feb 28, 2024
Thank you
(0)
Report
Mom may now be suffering from Hepatic encephalopathy which is
the loss of brain function when a damaged liver doesn't remove toxins from the blood. She's confused and wanting to "go home" and see her parents which represents comfort. I am an only child too. My mother had advanced dementia and talked incessantly about wanting to ride the subway to see her mother. We live in Colorado....she was regressed back in time to the 1930s when she was a young girl living with her parents and siblings in NYC. She accused me of hiding her loved ones in the closets at her Memory Care AL. I asked the doctor for Ativan to calm her down and it helped a lot.

Ask mom to tell you about her childhood. Get out some old photos and look at them together. Sympathize with her about missing her home and family, tell her you understand perfectly. Many of her symptoms may mimic dementia so it would be helpful for you to learn about it if this line of talk continues.

Best of luck to you.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
cdavis76 Feb 28, 2024
Thank you. I’ll look that up. Great idea about sharing stories.
(0)
Report
Home. That wonderful place where you feel safe, comfortable & loved.

Has Mom been assessed for depression?

Does she have friends? Socialise with others her own age?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
cdavis76 Mar 18, 2024
She's on meds for depression. She has people that she talks to once in awhile, but really not too many reach out to her.
(0)
Report
Has she been diagnosed with dementia? these comments are all consistent with dementia. Do read up on dementia, what kinds of things those LO's with dementia say, and how to address them. this is pretty good - there are 2 videos which describe the dementia experience:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
cdavis76 Mar 18, 2024
thank you. I will read up on this. everything is helpful.
(0)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter