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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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She is constantly saying she has seen or had a conversation with someone in the house or on the phone that actually did not occur. But she believes and swears it did.
Yes, this seems to be a sign of either medication problems, an infection or dementia. She needs to see a doctor for a complete physical and likely a dementia specialist for a diagnosis. Please let us know how this works out. We're here to support you. Carol
And try not to argue with your mom about these things. Just let them go. It does no good to try and convince someone that what they're saying is just not true. It will frustrate and anger your mom and raise your stress level as well. Let her believe it.
I try to let it go, but when she is waiting to go somewhere and thinks we are doing something and I tell her no we are not or no they are not coming today etc... she gets mad at me and says that I am crazy.
She will not go to the Dr. We have been down that road too. God will heal her if there is anything wrong. And as far as she is concerned there is nothing wrong with her. We are all crazy. :)
Well she could have something as simple as a bladder infection. That can cause strange behavioral changes in the elderly. If she won't go to the doctor, there's not much you could do. Would she let a visiting nurse come see her? Maybe get a urine sample?
God will heal her if there is anything wrong -- has this been a long-standing religious belief she holds? If so, I don't know what you could do but accept it. If this is a new "excuse" she uses, then tell her God works through us, and doctors have special training and skills to do God's healing. It is really sad that you can't get her to cooperate with a medical exam, because it is quite possible she has something that could be fixed.
Regardless of what is causing her delusions, how you treat her regarding them is pretty much the same. To her that event or that visitor she is expecting are very real. Of course you are crazy for doubting her! Get into her world, where these things are very real. "Oh Mom! Didn't anyone call you to tell you the meeting had to be called off? I'm sorry you didn't know. Since you are all dressed up, should we go out for a sundae?" "I can't imagine why your friend isn't here by now. Is it possible she gave you the wrong date? You know she can be a little scatter-brained." Don't argue with her. Don't tell her she is wrong. Try to distract her into some other activity.
Humor her and deflect as Jeannie said. Can you see any signs of illness. If she will not let you take her temperature, does she feel hot to the touch, sweating, red faced. Sleeping more or less, not eating, less able to do things like personal care? Does her urine have a strong or "fishy" small. How about her underwear can you bring yourself to give that a sniff. Can you trick her into the Dr's office. Ask her to go with you as you have to see the Dr and later will be shopping, having lunch whatever she enjoys. prep the Dr before hand and go in alone then have the nurse go out and tell her you need her to hear what the Dr is saying to you. Once she is in the Dr can use his sternest voice and play God and see what he can do with her. She may be refusing because she has a fear of the medical profession in general and what they may want to do to her. You know how these old wives tales get around. Good luck. If it does not work at least you have tried and will have to leave it up to the Almighty or a time when a visit to the ER becomes urgent. We are all crazy at some time or another.
Yes, there is definately something wrong here. It could be something like a urinary tract infection. A UTI can make some people have delusions for some reason. I would have her checked out.
No I watch her pretty close on things like that. She hasn't had any pains lately either. I can tell when she don't feel well. She is very physically healthy for her age 75. All she takes is a multivitamin, diabetes pill and Lipitor. It's just her mental state that has me worried.
Poor you! I don't understand why they won't go to the doctor! How is her blood sugar?
If she won't cooperate or go to the doctor, and she seems well otherwise, what can you do? Maybe stop the Lipitor with the doctor's permission to see what happens in a week? Can you use emotional blackmail, letting her know that you had a vision that something is wrong, or an angel told you to take her to a doctor?
It will either get better or get worse. So time may help you figure out what to do. Sorry. God bless you both.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Carol
And try not to argue with your mom about these things. Just let them go. It does no good to try and convince someone that what they're saying is just not true. It will frustrate and anger your mom and raise your stress level as well. Let her believe it.
Regardless of what is causing her delusions, how you treat her regarding them is pretty much the same. To her that event or that visitor she is expecting are very real. Of course you are crazy for doubting her! Get into her world, where these things are very real. "Oh Mom! Didn't anyone call you to tell you the meeting had to be called off? I'm sorry you didn't know. Since you are all dressed up, should we go out for a sundae?" "I can't imagine why your friend isn't here by now. Is it possible she gave you the wrong date? You know she can be a little scatter-brained." Don't argue with her. Don't tell her she is wrong. Try to distract her into some other activity.
Good luck!
can you bring yourself to give that a sniff. Can you trick her into the Dr's office.
Ask her to go with you as you have to see the Dr and later will be shopping, having lunch whatever she enjoys. prep the Dr before hand and go in alone then have the nurse go out and tell her you need her to hear what the Dr is saying to you. Once she is in the Dr can use his sternest voice and play God and see what he can do with her. She may be refusing because she has a fear of the medical profession in general and what they may want to do to her. You know how these old wives tales get around. Good luck. If it does not work at least you have tried and will have to leave it up to the Almighty or a time when a visit to the ER becomes urgent. We are all crazy at some time or another.
If she won't cooperate or go to the doctor, and she seems well otherwise, what can you do? Maybe stop the Lipitor with the doctor's permission to see what happens in a week? Can you use emotional blackmail, letting her know that you had a vision that something is wrong, or an angel told you to take her to a doctor?
It will either get better or get worse. So time may help you figure out what to do. Sorry. God bless you both.