Today’s her birthday & said she wanted a quiet day, so no lunch or dinner with us. I know she doesn’t cook anymore. DH and I took her at her word and stopped by, unannounced, but wasn’t home. Left a balloon in her door. Went to the diner - surprise - she was there.
She talked about getting home last night thinking it was nighttime but saw some lights on in neighboring houses. Said she thought they were starting their day, so she sat on the couch. She made coffee (hasn’t drank that since her twenties, let alone made it) and went back to sitting, but felt tired. She thinks she fell asleep. At waking, she looked at one of her clocks that said 9am, so she thought she could be CERTAIN it was 9am by putting on a tv show she KNOWS is on at 9am. She deducted, at that point, it really was 9am. Is this sundowning?
Her voice was so very hoarse. Like when you are out all night, partying/drinking. She was happy to get a birthday card from us and opened it at the diner. She already had her meal and had her take-out containers packed and was waiting for a waiter to take her home. DH asked her numerous times if we could take her home, so she didn’t have to wait for waiter, as he had just gotten another table. She said no. She sounded a bit slower in her speech, nails not done, hair messy and not curled.
I’m just down… Thanks for listening.
I agree, Mom could have had a ministroke.
I would get your Mom to a doctor. It is possible that she had a small stroke or something that happened to that part of the brain. Don't let it go. If she had a stroke, you'd want to see what you can do to prevent another one. If you let it go, chances are that she'll have something more severe in the near future.
Happy birthday to mom!
Unfortunately she is not going to her primary, until she needs meds. She’s afraid they will ‘throw her in a home’, and is staying away from doctors. Nothing I say gets through and she doesn’t talk to me.
https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/stages-behaviors/sleep-issues-sundowning
My mother's Sundowning started around 3pm every day and went on until she fell asleep. Your mother sounds like she has her circadian rhythms turned around, and/or days and nights confused. This is also common with dementia. You can get her an Alzheimer's clock on Amazon which is great until the dementia gets very advanced and then nothing makes sense anymore. The clock will tell her if it's day or night along with the time and day of the week, month and year.
I hate dementia with everything in me. I'm sorry you're both going thru this process. I wish there was something to say that would make you feel better, too, like what I have no idea. I will send you a hug and a prayer for strength to deal with all the stress and pain that lies ahead.