My Mom turns 100 at the end of December and family & friends are asking what my “celebration” plans are. She lives with me and I have done everything possible during this pandemic to keep her safe and well. Her health and mind are excellent, but I am against having a full blown “celebration”. Even a drive-by is going to be difficult because of the location of our condo and access to a window where she can see and be seen. Not to mention the possibility of snow. I’m getting pushback from family and it’s beginning to add stress to an already stressful situation, as I am her full time caregiver.
I know you guys will give me some sound advice.
Having an indoor gathering of a large number if people is unsafe at this time.
Please tell the thoughtless relatives to arrange a Facetime or Zoom call on mom's birthday.
Do a card thing. Tell everyone to send a card wishing Mom happy 100th. If she has a Church, inform them. Anyone who knows Mom. We did this for a classmate whose father turned 100 and had moved out of State. He was so happy to receive cards from kids he knew 50 yrs ago.
Nobody got covid, surprisingly, the 'party' was what it was--since mother has some level of dementia, she did not notice the family members who didn't show.
She LOVES that scrapbook, though.
(BTW, we ALL know that this year we are not having Thanksgiving, or Christmas celebrations, except with the ONE family who all had covid. It stinks, but it is what it is.)
I did a "virtual" party with a friend and we used Zoom (I used my Ipad) and it worked out great.
Happy 100th Birthday to your Mom!
Jenna
What I might do is open up a few cards on her birthday, a few more another day, and string it out so that it's something to look forward to over a period of time. You might ask people to call on that basis as well. Sometimes the attention on the day of the birthday is so much that succeeding days are real let downs.
You can also get one of the card boards, about 2' x 3', on which cards can be pinned. My cousin bought one for my father during one of his hospitalizations for a broken hip. Cards were added to it as people came in, and eventually it became full.
We took it home; Dad kept it in the living room where he could view the cards while sitting in his favorite chair. They reminded him of an unpleasant medical adventure made much more positive by the support of family and friends.
Those cards are going into a scrapbook which I'll be creating of his life.
Let whoever thinks she should have a public Gala, plan it and videotape it, then send it to you and Mom while you both stay SAFE at HOME.
You are doing your best to protect her. Don’t be bullied by nonsense into doing something that NOBODY guarantee to be SAFE.
Do you think they might consider a Showering of Birthday Wishes MAILED to her, a 3 or 4 piece combo playing Happy Birthday and some of her favorites on your lawn or driveway, a cookie distribution to family members gathered outside, a Fly By with a Happy Birthday Banner??
Your family members apparently don’t realize that people who have reached the wonderful age of 100 should by doing so be allowed to take a SAFE shot at going for 101!
God Bless Her, AND YOU, and keep up the good work with your door locked!
Back in May when the pandemic was still fairly unknown, a woman was turning 100 at her facility where I think she was on the third floor.
Her family decided to give her a big birthday surprise by coordinating something with the local fire department.
If you'd like to view it you can type in the Google search box "100 year old woman celebrates birthday in Arizona" and one of the local news stations (azfamily.com) has an article with the details along with a video.
Hope you will be able to come up with something for your mom!
Everyone was very happy with the surprise, even passersbys (if that is a word) had a great time with it.
Great idea!
So many people have NO COMMON SENSE at all in their God given brains these days. Push back or no push back, the answer to your 'well meaning' relatives is NO. NO is a complete sentence. If they don't like it, they can join my step daughter in LUMPING IT.
Sorry not sorry, but your mother didn't live to be 100 to die of some stupid virus brought in to your condo by some well meaning partyer. Tell them all you'll bake her a cake, put 100 candles on it and a party hat on her head, get noisemakers for both of you, and have your DH film it. You'll post it on FB for their viewing enjoyment.
The End.
Happy 100th to your mom!
If there is someone younger in the family who can do it, get them to collect up videos of each family member saying happy birthday, slowly and clearly, and then splice them together in a form that can play on the television, big enough for her to see. She will probably enjoy seeing it repeated very day, more than she would have enjoyed it in person.
Don’t let other people guilt you into doing something that she quite probably won’t enjoy, and that would risk her health and her life.
Zoom if possible. Even though drive by isn't possible, perhaps she could be seated in the front door area, with a storm door, if you have one, to protect her and they can visit there, one family at a time, to greet her and express their well-wishes? Maybe one of you can be there to hand out cupcakes for each family who shows up?
Not a good time of year for b'days (which I know ALL about!! Dec b'days for me, my DIL and grandson and Jan for my daughter! It was tough arranging b'day parties for her - every other weekend with dad and if our weekend was a bad storm, reschedule!)
My mother is in a facility (MC for her) which has been locked down since mid-March. She reached 97 in August. At that time they were allowing brief outdoor visits, but it was VERY hot, so not pleasant for her even in a shaded canopy area. We also had to wear masks and remain at least 6' apart. We couldn't even share the ice cream and cupcakes I brought (I was able to leave them for her.) Given her really bad hearing and the masks, I'm not even sure she was aware I was there. They handed the cards and little gifts I brought, but that was it. Everyone in her generation is gone. OB isn't local, so no visit for over 2.5 years now. YB is YB, who knows what he's doing! We've been out of touch with most cousins, some have passed, so there's really no one else to celebrate.
If there's some way to have everyone acknowledge her "special" day without exposure, you'll keep her safe. If you have or can rent a large display and do Zoom, with them sending cards and gifts ahead of time, they can "share" in the festivities that you set up in your home.
If her health and mind are really good, make plans for a celebration later, when the weather is better and you can do it outside (virus will likely still be around, so it may have to be outdoors.) At the very least, don't let this clueless people get you down!
the decision is taken out of your hands and put into the physicians.
I decorated a shoe box with pretty birthday paper and, on the day of her birthday, I called ahead to let them know it was her birthday and that I was bringing a gift. They have a table on the porch to drop off items for the residents from their families. We were able to see one another through the window. My mom calls me every evening and she was so happy to receive the many cards that family and friends sent. Many of them called her on the phone throughout the week to wish her well and visit with her. Some even sent pictures of their families and I made sure mom had current pictures of her two new great grandbabies. She was so happy and continues to look at all the pictures everyday. Your family and friends need to understand that you and your mom need to be very careful about both the Covid and flu virus. It is a blessing for your mom to be here this long and still have her health and mind. You both need to protect yourselves as best you can and it certainly sounds like you have done a wonderful job so far. Your mom and my mom's generation are a very hardy and stubborn bunch. Look at all the things they had to live through growing up! Have a 'card party' and let family and friends know they are welcome to call to wish your mom a happy birthday. Most will understand. In the meantime, I'm wishing you, as one caregiver to another, the very best and a very happy birthday to your mom!