Unstable caregiver went off on me when I asked what happened. "I didn't do it!", flailing her arms and screaming: "You will never f'ing disrespect me again!" "You'll have to leave!", "You'll have to move her out and take care of her yourself!"
This time the $3000 hearing aid literally rattles when you pick it up. Mom tells me it was "too vigorous cleaning". She has dementia so I can't believe what she tells me. A hearing aid is a delicate piece of equipment which must be cared for properly. Last time they ripped the battery door off. This time the thing had to be smashed or thrown against a wall. Mom is in hospice and is not capable as she can no longer even feed herself.
I moved mom here from another nightmare facility six months ago. At the time she could toilet and feed herself with assistance. After much searching I thought I had found the right facility. Within three months she was bedbound but happy as I had set her up with all she could desire. The staff thought she was wonderful and sweet.
She ended up in the hospital with a UTI every month around the 20th of each month consecutively with much drama on the part of the staff, always on the watch of the staff member in question. The last time I was informed it was chronic and mom should be put in hospice. It was arranged and after some confusion it seemed to settle down.
Everything was fine until last month when everything went wrong fast. There had been some politics among the staff with each other but after six months I finally got it. The "golden child" staff member who had the facility owner's ear was causing a multitude of strife on many levels and blaming everyone else. She realized this and stopped discussing everyone else's shortcomings with me. Now that I understood what was going on I was the enemy to be eradicated. I had stopped propping her up with gifts before Christmas. Now that mom is in hospice others must be shuffled off to the hospital at the end of each month.
So now its starting to look like Munchausen and Stockholm syndromes.
I am already grieving the inevitable loss of my mother and this wicked individual has decided to make it worse by oppressing me. I suspect the abuse will eventually filter to my mom so what choice do I have other than to find another place for her. I am so very weary of dealing with hateful manipulators.
May they reap what they have sown.
For my Mom, good heavens, she didn't want anyone to notice she was wearing a hearing aid [she's 97] so she bought the smallest one that goes over the ear. So, of course, she and my Dad have an awful time trying to open up the slot for battery to replace it. Even I had problems opening it. The batteries are the size of a pencil eraser which can drop very easily and gone forever. I bet if I take a large magnet throughout their house I will finds dozens upon dozens of dropped batteries... [sigh].
Only one caveat - I know this one staff person has been very hurtful to you. But, make sure it is not possible that Mom has been going downhill because Mom is, sadly, going downhill, and maybe hospice is the right thing.
As for the hearing aid, in the care center my husband was in while he had dementia his hearing aids went through the washer and drier once, were microwaved once (!) and were lost twice. The care center he was in? He was at home and I was his caregiver. I suggest letting the hearing aid crisis go. In the overall scheme of things, it is just not that important.
Pams: I refuse to cow-tow to the wicked. I only got angry because she was screaming at me and flailing her arms, turning the offense back on the victim as is the trend here lately. I suspect you would also. You would have me accept this behavior or take meds to numb myself to reprobates? No. This woman told one of the other caregivers that she has "been in a bad mood lately." Do we all do costly damage to other's personal property when we are in a bad mood? This should be allowed in the senior care industry when it is not acceptable in the rest of society? I think not. Basic etiquette, decorum and self control is imperative in all corners of society - no exceptions.
Jeanne: The social worker for this hospice is of no assistance. Also typical for our area. Whether or not they have a facility of their own is not known. Thank you for the possibility & I will check into that.
Pams: I am not afraid of my mother's death or my own for that matter. I was attempting to enjoy what time I had left with her, the first time she's been close to a loving mother as far back as I can remember. I do not need a myriad of distractions or unnecessary drama at this point. Do these people think that it in any way helps that I can no longer communicate with mom? I doubt that they give two shakes about either one of us. I do however know it will be a relief when mom has passed and I am not obliged to deal with these wicked reprobates any longer. Once again, may they reap what they have sown.
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