My mother is constantly whining how bad she feels to me, she didnt sleep, etc. But when anyone calls her she is chipper. My husband walks in, she's chipper. It is all I can handle as it is getting to me. Also if I bring something up to my husband, example, I ask him why he left the door open, she immediately defends him. She defends him over me all the time over little things I address with him, normal little married things I address with him, nothing private, just small things.
Don't we all do this to some extent? You're having a rotten day, you've just had your son's school report, the dog weed on the carpet, your daughter refused to wear any shoes except the one that was missing its partner, and you got a speeding ticket. Your conversation in the car is, shall we say, not jovial in tone. Then you happen to park next to the school's Dad of the Year and - ping! - you're cheeriness personified. Brightens you up no end, no?
Living with this situation day in day out, though, is going to shred your temper. Since I resoundingly failed to solve the issue and now live alone, I'm probably not best placed to advise you. But what do you think you might do that would improve the household dynamic?
I like what NYDIL said.
Still does it and I asked her about it one time and she said just wanted them to think she was cheery.
It makes me sick to think about the times she would gush over somebody and a few minutes before that she was being horrible to me. wth?
Try to go into another room while this is going on. When my Mom moved back to her apartment it was a huge relief to not have to witness and hear the bs anymore (in my home) Separate yourself from that toxicity as best you can. take care.