She can sit in a wheelchair for short periods. My parents live in Colorado, no family lives there. My mother is in hospice and my father is failing now with dementia. They have been on their own and now something needs to change. We would like them to be closer to family where we can be with them, and help care for them. If they stay in California they are all alone, and when my mom passes, which could be anytime, up to a year,my father would be on his own. We fly down as much as possible, but its not the same as being there daily as could happen in Colorado. My mother cannot be up for long, generally an hour is considered long so flying for 2 hours, and the time waiting at airport etc would make that difficult, but driving in a car for days would be impossible as well. And ambulance would be incredibly expensive. They do not have much money. My mom has Parkinson's, but dementia is what is taking her. SHe doesnt eat much, and lays in bed all the time. We would like for her to be with family for her last months, and for dad to be supported during all this and after. They are resistant to live with family, but we think we can talk them into moving now that dad is so wiped out from caring for mom on his own for a year. She is on hospice and we need to move all that to a new state. as well as his insurance etc. She can sit in a wheelchair for short periods.We dont know how medical moves from one state to the next either.
Your experience is a good argument for forcing a move while the loved ones are still a little bit mobile.
Do they actually want to make the move? California is their home they may be reluctant to leave and move in with family. Would it be better for Mom to go into a N/H then dad could stay home but be close by and not be a caregiver 24/7. Can a family member go down and help until Mom dies. After that Dad may be more open to living with family
If she is already in hospice, I would try to delay the move and just move dad when she passes
Best of luck with this difficult decision, also could consider in-home non-medical care to help your father with some very needed respite and seems some care for him too.
Rest in peace Uncle Kelly! We love you.
Best wishes to you and your family!