For the past year, I would often hear my Mom complain about my Dad. She would say things like "He no longer makes the bed". "He doesn't even wash the dishes anymore and it was his favorite chore to do." She says all he does now is wakes up, brushes his teeth and sits on the couch and has his coffee.
Yesterday my mom finally broke down and told me more obvious signs of confusion and she is convinced it's dementia and has made an appointment.
--a month ago, they were wheeling their groceries in the cart to the car, and when my Dad popped open the trunk, he actually thought the car was broken into, and someone had stolen their groceries. My dad was holding onto the cart that held the groceries he was to put in the trunk. He was also adamant on telling a security guard his car was broken into.
-- Two days ago they were headed to my aunt's for dinner and my Dad was holding a dessert they were bringing as they left to go to dinner . As they were about to leave, my Dad says to my Mom, "Oh know! I forgot to take something out for dinner tonight!". Meanwhile, they were leaving to go eat dinner at my aunt's place.
--yesterday I went to visit to have coffee with my Dad. He asked where my husband was, and then 5 minutes later he asked again. When I said to him "you just asked me and I told you he was working", he said "I didn't just ask you. I'm asking you now"
Alzheimer's/Dementia runs on both sides of my family.
And to think I just buried my mother in law last week after suffering from Dementia for 6 years.
But it also could *not* be, and your mother has done exactly the right thing by making an appointment. How is she? I think the best thing you can do to help is keep an open mind and give them both as much encouragement as you can.
I'm sorry to hear about your MIL. I hope this won't sound trite or glib, but seriously do remember the key phrase from the Alzheimer's Society:
"When you've met one person with dementia, you've met one person with dementia."
NOTHING has to be the same for different people.
Anyhow, if it is dementia, make sure mom is getting support. Being the 24/7 person can be daunting to say the least.
Maybe he's depressed? You'll find out soon. Keep us posted.