My aunt is giving me her home and property. She wants me to move in with her, but every time I say ok let's do it she says no not today or next week. She always finds an excuse, and sign all the legal papers with attorney. My aunt always says don't worry it's all legally taken care of. I been respectful tried not to be pushy but I need to find out what exactly needs to be done before she doesn't know who I am or who she is. They took her drivers license away 5 yrs ago. I live 2 hours from her and make the drive at least once a week. What do I do before someone just comes in and takes over? Who do I can't before it's to late and I don't have a say so in her well being, her home, her assets, her property and her? Please advise soon.
How long have you been traveling to your aunt's house at least once a week 2 hours away? There are no other relatives?
Who is helping her pay her bills and take any medications correctly? Even with the DPoA paperwork her bank will require you to go through their own PoA protocol, which may mean physically bringing her into the bank.
Finally, be extremely careful about her signing over any house or assets to you because doing so may disqualify her from being able to receive Elder Waiver or Medicaid assistance if she needs to be transitioned into a NH for a higher level of care than you can provide. This happens all the time. The Medicaid financial look-back in most states is 5 years.
If she lost her driving privilege 5 years ago she may already be too far gone to help herself. The county social services will step in and gain guardianship when it gets bad enough. If she falls in her home, who is there nearby to check on her? On your next trip to see her you may need to pro-actively seek help from any trustworthy neighbors since you live so far away. At the very least see if they'll give you their contact numbers and then you should discretely make a copy of your Aunt's house key and hide it outside so that a neighbor could get in if there were an emergency.
You will need to go and stay with her for a week so that this can get done, and 1 week may not even be enough time. You won't be able to do it on weekends since lawyers, doctors, banks and gov't offices aren't open then.
Go on with your life. Your Aunt should be entering care. If she has no one else to act as her POA the State will take on being her conservator, handle her assets and bills and finances and see to safe placement for her.
Caring for a cooperative senior is hard enough. Caring for an uncooperative senior is a nightmare that will leave you mentally and physically wiped out to say nothing of finances you need to be earning for your own life in future.
Let your Aunt leave her assets (which will likely be COMPLETELY eaten up with her care, to a cat shelter! Get on with your own life. Just my advice.
No, you have no say. Be thankful for that and move one with your own life.
I think at this point you need to forget what Aunt says. That 2 hour trip need to be just to visit her. When she gets to the point she needs more care, then APS needs to be called in because legally you will not be able to help her. I would not give up my life based on what I may recieve without seeing it in writing. And if she ever needs Medicaid, there will be nothing anyway. It will all go towards her care.