My 78 year old MIL has always lived by herself and has been very independent. Unfortunately, over the past year things have started to change. She has fallen three times, she has burned her arm while cooking and she has caused two car accidents. I feel like her decline is happening slowly and nothing has been drastic enough to move her to AL. She has no desire to move anywhere and she refuses any offer of help. However, I feel that the next incident may be the one to prevent her from living alone anymore and I will be scrambling to find her a place to go. My question is can I look into AL before she actually needs it and make some type of 'reservation' or is it more often an emergency situation? Thank you for any advice.
You may want to have that talk with her while she's able to make decisions for herself, and before that choice is taken away from her by others! It's always best to make a change willingly than to be forced. AL is a great experience, by the way, for those elders fortunate enough to be able to afford it. My folks has a great lifestyle in AL for a number of years before dad passed and eventually mom moved into Memory Care Assisted Living, which is a horse of another color.
Check some ALs out yourself, but I know of none that take reservations for a future unknown move in date, unless there's a waitlist you can put MILs name on.
Good luck to you.
People of all ages can trip and fall. I tripped over my cat who is like a 4 legged Zoomba coming out of no where. People of all ages can accidentally burn themselves while cooking. I remember when I was a child, my Mom would put butter on a burn.
As for the car accidents, what was your Mom doing when the accidents happened? I see people of all ages using their cellphones while driving. I remember seeing a woman trying to turn at a stop light while holding a cell in one hand and a cigarette in the other.
I assume your Mom is able to dress herself? Bathe herself? Cooking for herself? Do cleaning and grocery shopping? If yes, then she wouldn't qualify for Assisted Living. She's not ready. She would be able to go into Independent Living at a senior facility. It would cost her around $5k-$7k per month, depending on her area. Your Mom could easily live for another 15-20 years.
Just food for thought.
The nice ones near me have wonderful food and chefs on-site.
Your MIL might be willing to go along with these low-pressure visits.
Many places have tours on their websites, as well. Another way to give her an idea of how lovely they can be.