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My mom has Alzheimer’s and also depression but is at a nursing home that has known this for 3 years. New owners took over this year and my mom had a moment of “ self destructive “ outbursts and wanted out of this lockdown facility so she could run into traffic and be killed. She cannot get out ( key pad locks on doors to outside) but the nursing home did not handle her as in the past ( just sit her somewhere and let her calm down) instead, without my permission ( I am POA) called ambulance and had her sent to the mental area of our local hospital! The corporate office called me and apologized for this but I am uneasy that they can not handle something mommy only seems to do 5 times a year? While I am satisfied that she is being evaluated and her meds changed, I’m concerned she is being thrown out instead of cared for as before! Any thoughts?

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Has the administration made any comment or threat about kicking your mom out? When she’s being “self destructive” that also puts the staff at risk and they’re not wrong to protect themselves along with the other residents. Having her sent to the hospital could be viewed as a kindness in helping her be calmed and meds tweaked. Perhaps they could have called you sooner to inform you, but otherwise I’d say their actions were appropriate
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I think you need to have a meeting with the Director of Nursing. The owners may have changed but the staff has not. You were not there so maybe Moms out burst was worse than it had been. Maybe they couldn't get her calmed down. And it may have been a good thing she was sent to the hospital because you say you are happy with the evaluation and med changes.

ALZ does not stay constant. None of the Dementias do. When it effects certain parts of the brain, it effects the function too. Meds need to be adjusted, some added, some discontinued. Its a game of Russian roulette. There is no ryhmn or reason and Dementia effects everyone differently.

I don't think facilities need your permission to send Mom to the hospital. You have left her in their care and they make these types decisions based on her safety and the safety of the other residents. I also don't feel that you can care for her at home in the stage she is in.
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Carolsdaughter1 Jul 2021
Apparently you do not understand. My mom can’t carry through anything she threatened against herself. She was taken without permission, myself, POA. The nursing home INITIATED apologies to me. The suicidal threats are part of the “ illness “. Nothing has changed about the vail threats and they have ALWAYS handled them. They are a lockdown facility.
I did not ask this forum if I should take her home with me. I work a full time job, 10 hours 4 days a week.
You don’t need to talk with anyone on here because you don’t gather information from what people write. This is what is wrong with society, they don’t gather information before opening their mouth. My mother means the world to me so I withdraw from this website. Thank you for nothing intelligent.
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They probably have protocols in place - if X happens, they do Y. If your mom was acting out and suicidal talk, well, unfortunately, they probably made the right call. This can be serious. 5 times a year is A LOT. This is probably too much for a nursing home to handle in house.

Sorry that you are dealing with this.
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Carolsdaughter1 Jul 2021
She, mom is not violent. 5 times is better than the “ everyday “ I heard it from her growing up. Wow, did my post NOT make sense? She is sick not in a regular nursing home atmosphere. You can give her a bracelet and she will stop saying that.
No, nothing they did was right. If the owners, corporation and administration call and say “ I am sorry, this was handled wrong!”
What does that mean to all of you posting? Anything?
Thanks for caring.
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Do you people not read?
The home recognizing they are wrong by apologizing. Smdh
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So what have you gotten from the responses to your post so far? Your replies have been, “Apparently you do not understand”, “What does that mean to all of you posting? Anything?”, “ Wow, did my post NOT make sense?”, “Do you people not read?”. Then “SMDH” (shake my head, I'm guessing). Your “Thanks for caring”, I'm sure, was said as sarcastically. It's all little condescending to say the least, don't you think? You also say she is “at a nursing home”, then “She is sick not in a regular nursing home atmosphere.”

Anyway, to address your problem (maybe I shouldn't even bother), some states have laws that allow involuntary transport to a psych unit in the case of suicidal thoughts or violence. In that case your POA has no clout. Does OK have such a law? And the laws typically don't differentiate between mental illness and dementia. In a MC unit the staff should be trained to handle verbal outbursts, unless they become violent.

What did the facility apologize for- sending her to a psychiatric unit, or not notifying you they sent her to a psychiatric unit? How long was she there? Did they treat her there?

So what's your course of action? You can leave her there or move her.
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Look at how you communicate in this forum. Are you communicating with the facility in the same manner? You seem angry that they transported to the mental health unit of a hospital.

Perhaps you should consult with an attorney.
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MargaretMcKen Aug 2021
Psychiatrist?
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"I want to take her home to my house on weekends and visit her when I want"

So you did say you want to take her home, maybe we took it out of context, but we got that from your profile. Sorry, I have no idea what you want us to say. Most of us have been thru the Nursing home thing. Its not perfect. People are people and mistakes are made. You have 2 to 3 shifts of different people. Weekends completely different people. Big turnover in places like this. Maybe it was a new employee that sent Mom out. Like I said, you were not there. You have no idea if this time was worse.

You cannot determine Moms ongoing care over one incident. Continue to be vigilant and if you think they aren't giving her the care she needs, then transfer her. No one, no one will care for your Mom the way that you would one on one.

I discribed to a man the morning in the life of a CNA because he felt the CNAs should put her favorite jewelry on her. He thanked me because he did not realize that aide has not just his wife to get up and dressed for breakfast but other residents to. He would be lucky if his wifes top matched her slacks.

The apology, could have been made to appease you. My daughter is an RN who worked rehabs/NHs for 20 years. When Mom was in a NH before I complained I asked her if I should. Sometimes she said "let it go. Save your complaints for the serious stuff." I was also told by my brother I was my own worst enemy.
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NH is going by what was agreed upon in any contract you and your mom have with them. You should still have it and it should spell out how they handle incidents of a potentially dangerous situation.
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Carolsdaughter1 you ask questions and berate people for their answers. RUDE...
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You wrote, among other comments:

"nursing home did not handle her as in the past ( just sit her somewhere and let her calm down) instead, without my permission ( I am POA) called ambulance and had her sent to the mental area of our local hospital!"

Did you reread the contract you signed?   I'm thinking that the right (and/or duty) to request an ambulance and emergency hospital treatment would be one of the rights and obligations the facility has.

You also asked "any thoughts" and got some good answers, some of which you criticized:

"Do you people not read?"     Yes, they do, and they've tried their best to respond, offering what I consider valid and good suggestions.   

"Any thoughts" is exactly what you got in response.   

What exactly are you seeking from the posters here?

Oh, I see the OP hasn't been back since 30 July. End of issue, apparently. 
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I had a look at Carolsdaughter’s profile. It says “I want my mommy taken care of properly and her to be active and happy. I want to take her home to my house on weekends and visit her when I want. She is my #1 ”. That’s not OP’s profile, just lots of ‘I wants’. With “my mommy”s AZ and depression, I don’t think the magic wand will work. I’m not surprised the facility ‘apologised’ – probably trying to douse the flames.

Sometimes new posters on the site are particularly revealing about themselves and their motives for ‘help’.
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But...

Maybe this shouldn’t be happening 5x a year. These episodes must be terribly frightening for your mom and perhaps a better mix of medication can help her live a happier life overall.

This may seem like an extreme response, but if your mom was having a mental health emergency, workers at her home may have needed to act quickly to ensure safety for all.

Nevertheless, if you are unhappy with their procedures under the new management, find your Mom a place that better aligns with your philosophy.
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