He had a sacroplasty procedure for the hairline fracture in his sacrum - he then developed shingles and had digestive issues related to his gluten intolerance and an intestinal infection. We know how that goes. Finally he was able to go into hospital for workup with his gastro doc. Had the colonoscopy because of cancer survival and endoscopy to check stomach. Had fungal infection and intestinal infection. Came home. Had more steroid injections in back. He stays in bed only to get up for meals and some tv in evening and newspaper reading during day. I am caregiver and I work full time 8 min away. We live in same house. I come home at noon every day to make his lunch. He is up 2 -3 times per night. He uses rollator. He is very thin and has muscle wasting. He is going for a procedure on his back next month called MILD - to remove ligament near nerve in his back - causing pain and numbness in leg due to stenosis- he is optimistic that this will fix everything and he will be a new man - driving again and cooking and shopping for himself! I don’t even understand how his doctor even wants to do this - outpatient day care - very small incision and go home same day. I have burnout after 3 months of caring for him when his stomach started bothering him in May. I took care of my Mom for 7 years but she was never as demanding and nasty as my Dad.
He's 97. Repeat: HE's 97!!! NO procedure is going to get him back to driving and living independently! I can see doing out patient, simple procedures that help with pain, but not all the stuff he'd having done.
You stay, and put up with him. What's the upside for you? I really feel bad for anyone who has to live with a cranky, abusive Sr.
Remember that you matter too. Take care of yourself, even if he grumps about it.
Are you dependent upon him for financial support?
Something just doesn't sound right.
Now onto you. Time for a frank discussion with dad about your burn out. If dad wants every procedure under the sun he will have to go to rehab afterwards. Once he is out of your house you can get the ball rolling to have him moved to a facility.
And no I don't believe at 97 that he is going to get back to the level of activity he had before. Esspecially at his age.
I myself have pretty bad stenosis in my spine. Ain't nuthin' gonna FIX that either because the surgeries can easily cause more damage to the spine than they cure. The spinal cord is a very delicate area to operate in; one tiny thing goes wrong and the patient is paralyzed for life. So my doctors are always very leery about trying to surgically fix me. I seriously doubt your dad will be a new man after this MILD procedure he's having, so who knows. Let's hope he makes it out of there alive and/or not paralyzed.
I'm not sure myself why you are living in the same home with such a nasty man who gives you no freedom in your OWN home, as stated in your profile. I think you have to question why you're doing this, and perhaps consider getting dad placed in managed care at some point. Your life matters too, my friend. You deserve to be happy and not treated poorly by someone who's supposed to be grateful to have you, for petesake.
I hope everything works out well, and that you can get dad out of your house SOONER rather than later. That is my hope for you, and that you can move on with your own life now. Best of luck.