My DH believes he has been healed by the pastor of his church. His church is a full gospel church and lays hands on people to heal them. After his diagnosis two years ago, but before the Pandemic, they laid hands on him. Since the Pandemic, I have not allowed him to attend church. He won’t take the medicine given to slow progression. Because he doesn’t have the disease. He says Drs just want to make money, and I am negative and I don’t believe the Bible. He does watch streaming church service. I fall into the thoughts that I am preventing him his spiritual growth. His Neurologist did a second MRI to prove to him that amyloid and innumerable micro hemorrhages are still present. No one from his church has contacted him during the time he has not been there. I do not feel my DH can process the teaching of his church in a healthy manner. Am I stepping over the line deciding about his spiritual believes? I wanted to ask if anyone has experience this kind of behavior with their love one?
The scientific as opposed to religious treatment that you want your DH to accept won't cure him. It won't even bring him back to a condition where he is capable of feeling any benefit or improvement.
His faith in his church, on the other hand, does make him feel better. And it won't accelerate his disease.
How about finding him a neurologist with a bit less of an all-or-nothing perspective? DH might cooperate better with someone who is more accepting of what's important to him.
Confront the pastor. Don’t be surprised though if he treats you like you are the Antichrist.
Any pastor that thinks he can ‘pray’ away medical issues without his congregation consulting a doctor for medical treatment is a con artist!
These are the pastors that pass out the collection plate and has ‘online giving’ as well and line their pockets with the cash.
As a Christian that leans into a non-denominational Protestant (I do not have Gospel background), I believe that we are to "ask God" in prayer for what we desire and He decides what to give us. I also believe that God inspired medical care experts to help us live longer, healthier lives. That the availability of this type of care is a miracle in itself. Hopefully, your DH pastor will lean in this direction. If not, please know that not all Christian leaders eschew medical care.
Do you mean medicines given for cardiovascular disease? Eg blood thinners (anticoagulants)?
My Mother was very against taking medication for her high blood pressure. But changed her mind when we discussed her stroke risk. 5 yrs later she did have a major stroke. 5 extra good years I consider the drugs gave her.
Recently she decided to decline further cardiac monitoring. I think she is drawing her own line of what is acceptable to her.
It may be very hard to accept his views/reasons 😞. Even if you re-phrase he would benefit from the pills & he accept for now he can later refuse or spit out etc whenever he chooses.
Healing can be spiritual, physical, emotional and mental. Faith based believes he is healed for eternity. We have hardly heard from our church friends since the pandemic. Does he have favorite scriptures you can read to him? Faith is personal.
I admire those who have faith but I don't believe it should have precedence over the world of medicine. My mother continues to read CS material and at this point I think it's fine as she is now immobile in a NH facility. I think you can only do so much in this situation. I am familiar with amyloid diagnosis. Sadly it won't improve. I heard this directly from a neurologist. If religion is helping emotionally then there is the answer. It can be near impossible to change those beliefs in a person.
I mean it makes sense, from a religious belief, to ask for healing. Healing comes from God as well as God's hand leading the doctor. Hubby continues to receive treatment and when tests reveal disease is no longer showing up on tests, hubby will know his prayers were answered. Sometimes, prayers are answered in a different way that specifically what we ask for. Delaying progression may be what the Good Lord provides. We ask that God spare someone from death, but sometimes our prayers are answered in the way of a painless death. You might try a conversation with hubby along these lines if pastor won't help.
If his religion is a comfort to him now, with all the real losses that are coming, I cannot see the reason to deny him that comfort, as I said as long as it doesn't interfere with real life, which at this point YOU are in charge of and YOU must help with.
Is there some way you can help to GIVE HIM what he needs? Bible reading together? I am personally not a believer, but have read the bible more than once, and poetically alone it can be truly poetic and comforting. Might you read the bible together? Do you think that would comfort him?
As I said, there is no reason he must accept his diagnosis, and soon it will not matter at all because he will be unable to accept or understand it at all.
Did the pastor tell DH he was healed and there was no need for further medical intervention? I know that happens. It may well NOT be a manner of deceit, but of how your DH took the 'healing'.
In my faith, we do practice laying on of hands for healing, for blessings, etc., but those are also compounded with medicine. Most 'blessings' include a plea for the doctors in charge being able to have the ability to know how to treat the patient.
I am grateful my faith is followed by a very strong congregational support--when I went through cancer, I had so many people on the ready to help me. Sad when a religion cannot or will not sustain and support it's own in times of need.
Why is this “pastor” sequestered in his little private church? Why does he require the sick to come to him? Why doesn't he go out to the hospitals, MC facilities and nursing homes and cure those patients? Because he can't (although I'm sure he'll have a reason)! Christ healed those not even in his presence. The bible says Jesus raised the dead. Can your husband's pastor do that or does he have certain limited healing powers? If he can raise the dead, I'd like his phone number because I'd like my wife back.
I'm sorry you're in this position, but I don't think you will ever convince your husband that he's a victim of deceit, although I do like like Joann's idea of calling the pastor and discussing the fact that the doctors say he's not healed.
I hope others who have had to make decisions for an ill spouse will chime in here.
JanBro - I don't suppose it really makes a difference in the long run whether or not your husband believes he has dementia, although as his caregiver and partner it would have been nice to perhaps buy a few more years of better cognitive health. If he gets comfort from his religion then I don't see any problem with him continuing to attend, BUT if it causes him to speak or act in any way that causes you trouble in your home or marriage that is a different story.
Don't you just love it when the Church takes your money and your time but is not there when u need them. My Mom was very involved in her Church. On committees and put the annual dinner together. Spent the whole weekend before, with the help of other ladies, organizing, overseeing and cooking it. When she became homebound did her minister of 16 yrs come visit, no. When I mentioned it to a Church officer I was told he didn't do home visits. After Moms passing I tried to go back. I miss some of the people but just not comfortable there.