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I find my DH washing his hands in too hot water in his bathroom. I keep the water heater at 120° for laundry and the dishwasher. I wonder if anyone has had any experience with touchless water faucets that you can set the temperature under the sink so it always comes out the same temp. Do you then have to brush your teeth with warm or hot water. I need to know more about how they work before I invest in one. They are recommended by the Americans With Disabilities.

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Is it bothering your husband that he's washing his hands in "too hot water in his bathroom" or is it just you that it's bothering?
From what I gather after reading your profile, your husband is pretty good natured and so far easy to get along with in his disease, so not sure I'm understanding why this is an issue. I mean at least he's washing his hands right?
As far as the touchless faucet that you can set the temperature under the sink, I haven't a clue about that, but what I do have a clue about is that when dealing with someone with dementia, it is best to pick your battles wisely, as all are not worth fighting.
Wishing you the very best as you travel this difficult journey with your husband.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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There are "anti scald" devices you can put on the faucet.
But a quick and easy fix...
Get some bright red nail polish and paint a stripe on the faucet handle and line it up where it should be when the water temperature is where it should be. That should give him a visual cue as to where the faucet should be. I say red because red is often associated with STOP or DANGER so this m ight work.


To your thought about the infrared faucets. My Husband with dementia could not figure out how to get the faucet to turn on. All he had to do what put his hands under the faucet but he kept looking and grasping for a faucet handle.
So it depends on how your husband will catch on to the touchless one. I would hate to spend a lot for the faucet and the installation to find he did not know how to use it.
The touchless are like any other faucet the water will come out the temp you set. It might take a few minutes to get the warm water just like it takes a while to get the water that is in the pipes out and the water from the water heater to the open faucet. The touchless ones do not heat at the point of the control the water comes from your water heater in the basement or where ever it is.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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This doesn’t address your problem but I wondered if it is possible your husband has neuropathy in his hands? I remember someone who had to use his shoulder or upper arm to tell the temp when he took a shower because he had neuropathy.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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Sometimes simpler is better. If he’s used to turning on the faucet, maybe best to leave it. You can still adjust the water heater to a max temperature so it won’t be too hot. My elderly mother does not understand movement activated faucet. Simpler was better for us.
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Reply to Beethoven13
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120 degrees Fahrenheit is the safety recommendation against scalding. So if your husband isn't burning his hands, what's the problem? If he is, the easiest solution is for you to accompany him into the bathroom to set the water temperature accordingly.

I have a question. In your profile, you say, "He generally goes in the bathroom to prepare for bed about 9PM and stays there until anytime between 2AM and 7AM. I get him up by noon to have breakfast and then he sometimes falls asleep in the afternoon or watches TV or reads until 9PM. Then back to the bathroom."

I've read this several times. Are you saying DH stays in the bathroom from 9pm until between 2am and 7am??
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Reply to lealonnie1
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LucilleJ Jun 26, 2024
Since I wrote my profile I have hired very experienced, empathetic CNA to help me care for my DH since he has reached the point where he is no longer able to keep himself clean. She has him on a schedule. Up, clean, dressed, fed and meds by 9:30 AM. She returns in the evening and prepares him for bed. NO MORE STAYING UP ALL NIGHT!
I take over those jobs on the weekends and he mostly complies because his Nurse told him to. We have him on a two hour bathroom schedule. I accompany him and help change his pull-ups if necessary. The problem arises when I get busy with chores, preparing dinner or take a needed nap and he decides to use the bathroom between scheduled times by himself. I am trying to make it as safe as possible for him.
I am not ready to place him in care!!!
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Dh needs more supervision, imo.
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Reply to Sendhelp
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lealonnie1 Jun 25, 2024
Certainly true, especially if he's spending hours on end alone in the bathroom every night !!
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You can turn the temp back. On gas hot water heaters its at the bottom of the hot water heater. Electric, behind a panel you need to unscrew.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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LucilleJ Jun 26, 2024
That may be the best solution. My dishwasher will heat the water to wash dishes. I can get along with not so hot water in other areas.
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Google tells me that hot water for handwashing is ‘generally within 104 and 131 degrees F’. Does 120 degrees feel too hot to you? Clearly it’s not extreme.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Without changing the water heater setting that affects the entire house, you can adjust the hot water "handle limit stop" on the bathroom faucet or via the "mixing valve" under the sink.

Google those two terms in quotes and there should be a number of instructions on how to do it. Might only take just a few minutes of time to solve the problem.
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Reply to Sha1911
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You don't need a special touchless faucet to set the temp under the sink.

Simply turn off the hot water handle (or turn it down low) under the bathroom sink where he washes his hands, so he can't burn himself.

I wouldn't worry so much about finding the precise temperature for hand washing. He can wash his hands in cold water.

Your husband has dementia. There are many things you are not going to be able to control, and you are going to learn to compromise your usual standards.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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JoAnn29 Jun 28, 2024
Had to look under my sink. Knew there was a shut off valve but not one for cold and one for hot.
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Old time faucets had one for hot and one for cold. I'm wondering if there still available and you can just not attach the handle to the hot water, you would only have cold then

Just an idea, anyways
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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My husband has that same problem with showering, so I start the shower for him and let him test it before he gets in and that works for me. My husband was diagnosed 6 years ago so it's at that stage when he needs more assistance. Good luck with everything.
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Reply to Cheeky79
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Could you close the hot water valves on the kitchen and bathroom sinks? The shower will have to be controlled by you or anyone who helps him with the shower.
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Reply to Bubba12345
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GO under and turn the hot and cold to a certain temperature.
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Reply to jdandrea30
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Two links that may help. I have not read the book.

https://www.alzstore.com/anti-scald-device-p/0200.htm

https://www.alzstore.com/complete-guide-to-alzheimers-proofing-your-home-p/2149.htm
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Reply to KPWCSC
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LucilleJ: Turn the temperature back on the hot water heater.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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If you can't do this (what others' recommend), hire a handy man to help you. Gena
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Reply to TouchMatters
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Just use those disposable wash clothes. No water needed.
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Reply to RetiredBrain
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You will need to keep your hot water heater turned down. Dishwashers almost always have their own heating mechanism inside of them; doesn't matter the water temp. And such hot water isn't needed for clean laundry. Many elders cannot even FEEL the heat in extremities, so this is crucial. Keep the hot water turned down is likely the safest answer.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Under the sink is a control faucet for hot and cold. Before you completely close off hot, try reducing the flow on the hot side.
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Reply to MACinCT
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