How do I get my 75 year old difficult mother to get medical assistance against her will (but for her own good) because she refuses to leave the house for any reason? She has stopped bathing, washing her hair and clothes for way too long now. My parents are now in their late 70's, still live under the same roof however they are not together as a husband and wife. She sleeps on the couch while my father sleeps in their bedroom. Asking her is not an option because she refuses, doesn't trust anyone and get's agitated. She has mentioned over the phone that the water doesn't work in the bathroom and I've gone down to check and it works fine. My father has asked me for help with this matter. Do I call an ambulance and have her admitted for an evaluation among other things to find out why she is behaving this way? She has no family doctor.
Does your father seem to have all his cognition still intact? If so he should be encouraged to assign a PoA before it's too late.
If they are both in cognitive decline and there is no PoA, then your only option is to go to court to pursue guardianship for each one (= time, money and having to have your LO declared incompetent before a judge) OR call APS and report them as vulnerable adults and the county will eventually become their guardian).
In the meantime, here is an article from this forum regarding getting LOs to bath, if you wish to purse it:
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/elderly-parents-who-wont-shower-or-change-clothes-133877.htm
I wish you success in finding the right help for them.
This becomes common with dementia.
There are many reasons that someone does not want to shower or bathe.
Is she afraid of slipping and falling?
If so a shower chair or bench might help.
Is it a shower that can be walked into or does she have to climb into a tub to shower? She may be unsteady to climb into a tub.
If she has dementia there are a LOT of things to do to take a shower that we don't think about, it is "automatic" But think of all the steps you take to shower. Getting undressed, adjusting the water, getting wet, soaping up, washing hair, rinsing off, drying, dressing. And that is just a bit, there is a lot that goes with each of those steps.
Also I was told by a Physical Therapist that the head and torso are "vulnerable" areas and having the water hit in those areas can be upsetting.
Now lets not forget about the noise that is made in the bathroom. The water pounding, the echoing because of the tiles.
For someone with dementia this all can be overwhelming.
And you really should get her to see a doctor to determine of she does have dementia or a UTI that can cause personality changes.
Low Potassium, Thyroid, diabetes and other things can cause symptoms like Dementia and depression.