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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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They were to move to AL next week. He is heart broken and now he is scared to go. How can I help him look forward to the move? I am afraid of depression coming quick.
I'm sorry, I'm sure this is hard, your dad is lost and lonely, and moving on feels like he is moving on without his partner. It will take time to adjust. Hopefully he makes new friends there.
Your dad has major life changing things happening that by themselves are very hard to get through, add them up and they could very well be crippling for him.
I would encourage you to keep an eye on him, get him moved, find him some grief counseling and pills if needed. Help him adjust to his new home by taking him to activities, having an occasional meal and helping him meet his new neighbors.
This move is hard under the best circumstances and he is faced doing it under the worse circumstances, he will need time and support.
May The Lord give him grieving mercies, strength and comfort during this new season in life.
Remind him that being around other people his age will be good for him and it will allow him to move forward in his healing/grieving process. And make sure that his doctor is treating him for his depression if needed. And also tell him that his "companion" would still want him to move there and be happy even if it's without them.
You could try easing him into the new situation by telling the administrators what has just happened and asking if you could take him there for lunch so he can meet some friendly people before he actually moves in. The best possible thing he could do would be to avoid sitting home in a lonely house. There will be many widowed and single people at AL who will be eager to get to know him. When my mom, still married to my dad, moved to AL, she kept getting asked out by single men. She was very clear that she was married, but she enjoyed talking with them sometimes (she was 85 and lived there until she was 90). When my dad would visit her there, he enjoyed the company too. AL is not perfect, but it's better than home alone.
I watched my dad go through such sadness as the losses of both people and abilities piled up. It’s an inevitability of life. I’m sorry for you and dad in this. Encourage him to keep the plan as this was what they’d agreed to and known was best. Speak to the director of AL for guidance and a heads up for the staff to be able to handle it properly.
45 years together? Yes, there will almost certainly be shock, depression, despair, grief. The Administration will be aware of this. This would be normal. They can monitor his grief and I am hopeful with make special efforts to support him.
When we reach a certain age (I am 81, my partner 83) we live our lives well aware that the loss of one to the other will happen. Most of us hope to go "first", so as to avoid the grief we know will come. Loss and grieving is a normal part of the sadness of the aging process. I am so very sorry for his loss, and for yours.
First, he has to get thru a funeral. If a memorial, my thinking would be do it now so he can move forward but then it may be better to have it at a later date. I guess that would be up to him. Not sure if throwing him into a new enviroment would be good right now. Like said, talk it over with the AL. Even his PCP.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I'm sorry for you loss.
Much luck to both of you
Your dad has major life changing things happening that by themselves are very hard to get through, add them up and they could very well be crippling for him.
I would encourage you to keep an eye on him, get him moved, find him some grief counseling and pills if needed. Help him adjust to his new home by taking him to activities, having an occasional meal and helping him meet his new neighbors.
This move is hard under the best circumstances and he is faced doing it under the worse circumstances, he will need time and support.
May The Lord give him grieving mercies, strength and comfort during this new season in life.
And also tell him that his "companion" would still want him to move there and be happy even if it's without them.
I'm sorry for your loss.
When we reach a certain age (I am 81, my partner 83) we live our lives well aware that the loss of one to the other will happen. Most of us hope to go "first", so as to avoid the grief we know will come. Loss and grieving is a normal part of the sadness of the aging process.
I am so very sorry for his loss, and for yours.
So sorry for your loss.