She was from Canada. He found some of her papers, she was married and he has a son. He has been getting no help. I just helped him apply for disability and medicaid for her, but she falls all the time and is in a diaper. She tries to walk down the road sometimes and will scream non-stop for 5 days at a time. She will also stay up for days at a time. He is so lost in what to do that he lost his job because he was exhausted from being up with her for days.
But ur not really asking a question.
Has she lived in the States long enough to have a greencard?
Did she work in the States long enough to receive Social Security and Medicare? If so, she can't get disability at age 76 if collecting Social Security already. She has to have resided here with a greencard to get Medicaid for 5 years.
For someone who is a legal resident 65 and over, she should be able to get Medicaid for Long-term care. Her assets need to be under the asset cap for her State (my State its under 2k) and her monthly income has to be under the cap set by her state (my state $2523). I went in person to Medicaid and the caseworker helped me fill out the paperwork. Then gave me a list of info I had to produce. My State gives 90 days from date of application to spend down assets, get them info needed and find a placement. Its not an overnight thing.
From what I have figured out, your friend really needs to place his Mom into Memory Care if the Mom can budget the cost. Tell your friend not to pull money out of his own savings to pay, as he needs that for himself when he gets older.
If his Mom cannot afford Memory Care facility, the son needs to start paper work for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare]. Has his Mom ever worked in the United States? If not, there may be certain regulations needed before his Mom can obtain Medicaid [which is paid by the U.S. taxpayers].
I know it may not be an easy decision for your friend, please tell him that up to 40% of caregivers die leaving behind the love on they were caring. Those are not good odds. What if that happened to him? His Mom probably would be placed into a nursing home.
I’m so sorry that he lost his job. Obviously, he needs to get back to work. He can’t possibly care for his mother and work a full time job.
His mother is no longer able to care for herself and I suppose that your friend feels responsible. Try to help him understand that he has to care for himself as well.
Has he spoken with his mom’s doctor about this situation. Maybe they can guide him in the right direction by recommending a social worker to speak with to plan for his mother’s future care.
I hope things work out for your friend.