This last year we had split again and 3 weeks prior to his death he was diagnosed with congenial heart failure. I came home and took care of him, to dr appt. feeding, cleaning, etc. that he needed. We discussed working things out as soon as he felt better and came home..he did not..now I have my step children fighting me on his estate. What are my rights and what should I do? Help.
It might be a good idea to either consult an Elder Care Attorney or a Family Law Attorney.
If neither of you had remarried after divorce you should also be eligible for Social Security and if he had a Pension you would most likely be eligible for Survivor Benefits as well
And, make sure you charge for All your time and expenses.
Of course his family is going to fight you. They only have your word about future intentions and the history of an on again off again relationship.
They just lost their dad and you are worried about getting money. I would fight you to, to be honest. His will should clarify his wishes for his estate and you should honor whatever he wanted.
You may also have some rights where pensions are concerned, retirement funds and etc.
It is good you were together at the end, and I am certain that resolution was a relief at that time for him, thought I understand the children's confusion.
I am sorry for this loss for all of you.
Others are correct, also. In any question involving laws, do check with a Lawyer. It is expensive, yes, but often you are only asking for an hour of their knowledge and advice.
Good luck.
I am sorry for your loss, and sorry for stepkids who, face it, they are probably grieving, angry and upset. Do everything LEGALLY and the way he wanted.
Sounds like the kids don't know what dad wanted--where is his will? Do you know who his attorney was? It would be best of you saw the actual person who did his legal stuff. They'll be aware of what's in the will and have the best understanding. It will save you time and money if you can find the attorney who drew up the will.
Good Luck. I hope this can be resolved with a minimum of stress for all.
Seems when there are stepchildren, they feel they override the stepmother when it comes to the fathers estate. But doesn't work that way. If Dad wants his kids from a previous marriage to get his estate than he needs to have a Will. Or even better, a prenup to protect his kids.
I agree, you need a lawyer. Like Grandma said, if he named you as survivor on his pension, ur entitled to that and your SS should be adjusted to reflect at least 50% of what he was receiving. Insurance policies, if your beneficiary you get the money.
IMO you actually hold the reins here if ur still legally his wife. If it goes against you though, I would make sure I presented a bill for the time you cared for him and the kids allowed you to do it. At $10 an hour, 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week x 3 weeks is over 5k. And I am being conservative. An agency would have cost at least double that or more.
It was kind of you to take care of him before his death. Did his children help you during his time of need? Relationships can become so complicated.
You don’t mention how long you were separated from your husband.
Overall were you with him more than you were separated from him? If there is a will, hopefully you will be remembered.
He didn’t turn you away towards the end of his life but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.
There have been cases where the wife was the caregiver until the end and her husband left everything to his children.
Don’t speak to your stepchildren if they are upsetting you. Take this time to grieve and mourn your loss.
Did you discuss a will at anytime during your marriage? A will determines a person’s last wishes and how they desire for them to be carried out.
Depending on where you live, state laws determines what happens.
For instance, I live in a community property state so I am legally entitled to half of everything my husband and I own together.
Prenups can protect property that was purchased before the marriage.
Be prepared for his stepchildren to contest the will. State laws vary, again in my state, we do not have ‘forced heirship’ laws. Children do not automatically inherit their parent’s property.
If you don’t have a lawyer, it’s time to get one.
I don’t know what your relationship was with your stepchildren and that is neither here nor there. It’s about what your husband desired. It is a shame that there isn’t harmony in the family during this sorrowful time.
I am very sorry that you weren’t able to reconcile fully with your husband.
Even if a loved one is sick it seems that we are never totally prepared for their death.
Again, I am very sorry for your loss.
Best wishes.
You mention that you split "again", so I'm thinking this isn't the first separation. Had either of you filed for divorce? If so, that could change the situation.
Where did he reside? And you? Your legal residence? Was title to the house held jointly? You'll need to get a copy of the recorded deed if you're not sure.
As others have advised, you need to consult an attorney as there are some ambiguities that first need to be addressed to determine your standing and inheritance.
He was in contact with his grandchild. It was the granddaughter that inherited everything. He was a widower.
Had he been married his wife would receive an inheritance due to our community property laws.
We don’t have forced heirship so parents do not have to leave a single dime to their kids if they don’t want to.
If he didn't, you should look up your state's laws on intestacy. Most states seem to provide good basic information online about what their rules are for dividing estates when a person has not made a will. As far as I understand it (not very far) a wife usually gets the lion's share.
But as you describe yourself as an on-off wife of ten years and stepmother to (presumably) adult children, you surely can't be surprised that his children aren't thrilled about that. Is their mother still alive?