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He gets very angry when I ask him to not walk around the house all night looking out the windows or going outside with a weapon. He boarded up garage door, places a board on inside of garage door, he thinks someone kicked in the door but has not, he says it’s my fault. He acts like a young teen in his choice of wording like perverts, pricks, they need to mind their business, people are shooting at him, police are watching him 24/7.
It’s very difficult to live in this environment daily. There is a lot going on daily.

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Yes, you should be scared shipless. He’s not going to get better and he may turn on you. Get the weapons off the property! He needs diagnosis and treatment.

You don’t need anyone’s permission to take measures for your safety. Please call a mental health crisis line and ask for help for him and you. Find a place in the house where you can be safe. Make a plan of escape. Have a go bag ready to take with you if you need to leave in a hurry. Know where you can go - a friend, hotel, a shelter for domestic violence survivors. The go bag should contain some extra cash and clothes, whatever you’ll need for a few days. Important papers. Snacks.

I wish you luck. You are smart to know you’re in danger. Be careful.

This is site for National Domestic Violence hotline: https://www.thehotline.org/
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What happens when that anger and paranoia become directed at you one day at some unexpected moment you’re not prepared for? That’s a frightening thought. For whatever reason your husband has lost reasoning skills. You cannot talk or argue those back. Please take steps ton ensure your safety
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1. Has your husband been diagnosed with any form of dementia?

2. If at ANY time you do not feel safe LEAVE THE HOUSE.

3. If you are being threatened call 911. Explain to the dispatcher what is happening and that you are afraid for your safety. ALWAYS have your cellphone with you!
(If he has been diagnosed with any form of dementia inform the dispatcher of that. )

4. If there are ANY weapons in the house either lock them up or remove them from the house. (removing is preferable to locking them up) If there are weapons you need to inform the dispatcher if you have to call 911.
*This also includes locking up any kitchen knives and tools that may become a weapon.

5. You need to inform his doctor what is going on.
6. You should inform your doctor what you are going through as this will effect your health as well.

7. You need to see an Elder Care Attorney. You should have POA in place. make sure you have all the paperwork that you need in case you have to make the decision to place him.

8. If you do call 911 and he is transported to the hospital make sure that you inform the staff, the Social Worker that you do not feel safe at home and that he can not be discharged back to your home.
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You should have been concerned for your safety long ago. Call 911 and get him a 72-hour psych hold. Then can figure out treatment from there.
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Well, of course you should be concerned for your safety! You put your question under Anger, Paranoia and Violent Behavior categories, and then proceed to say DH blames you for kicking a door in, people are shooting at him, and he "goes outside with a weapon". What's to stop him from thinking YOU'RE the bad guy, in a fit of paranoia, and turning his weapon on you, God forbid?

Folks with mental health issues or dementia should not have access to ANY weapons at all. I'd get that weapon (and all others) away from him while he's in the shower one day and call 911 for a psych hold on him.

Best of luck to you
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You don’t mention dementia, but his behaviour sounds like my mother’s and paranoia was one of her early symptoms.

Get the weapons out, get yourself out and call help. Does he ever leave the property? Or walk around the property unarmed? You don’t want him holed up, armed, shooting at EMS.

Although she is content in her care home and joyfully celebrates visits by others, when my mother recognizes me, she sometimes accuses me of trying to kill her or have her killed. She becomes violent.

He may turn on you, just as she has turned on me.
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He is a mentally unstable man with a weapon in his hand, yes, you need to be concerned.

If there is a minor child in the home, leave or at worse case, develop an escape plan, have a bag hidden, money stashed, CC's, important documents in the bag, extra set of car keys in the bag.

You can go to a friend's house or a woman's shelter as a bridge.

Keep your cell phone with you at all times and on.

If he threatens you with the gun, call 911 immediately, do not hesitate. It takes less than a minute to fire the gun.

Sending support your way.
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You have nothing on your profile that suggested DH has Dementia or Parkinson's. By weapon do you mean gun or a knife? You need to call his doctor and tell him/her you are afraid for your life or someone elses. He then needs to call the authorities and make them aware its a Baker Act situation. That the person is paranoid and may have a weapon. They are not to use force but to do everything they can to get him to ER or a Psychiatric facility. Maybe there is something the doctor can give you that will quiet ur husband down so he can be taken away safely. And, I would not allow him back into ur home.

For now, I would remove everything in your house that could be used a weapon.
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AlvaDeer Oct 2023
I absolutely agree, and at some point this is going to be a call to EMS for transport to hospital. This should be done secretly and in private for self-protection.
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I agree with JoAnn. I also believe, if there are weapons in the house they should be removed to places of safety out of the home. There may be a call that should be made to EMS with transport to a hospital and medications may be required with placement of some length of time, or permanently. Do not make such a call in the presence of your husband or you are endangering yourself. When EMS arrives tell them that he has been threatening to yourself and others. If they will NOT take him to hospital at that time you should leave the house with them and not return; have a "go bag" at the ready with your own needs (clothing, cash, medications). Then call APS for senior at immediate risk.

Yes, you are in danger. So are others.
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Why does he have a weapon? Why have you not taken that away?
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Fawnby Oct 2023
Probably afraid to do that. Abusers know how to scare the H out of their victims.
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