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Hello forum friends,


My 100-yr old Auntie passed away peacefully in her sleep this morning at the rehab facility. I'm praising my Lord because He answered some very specific prayers:


That she not endure a long, drawn out dying, being hooked up to machines or having to take all sorts of medications.


That she would die peacefully in her sleep.


That she would go home to the Lord before having to go into a permanent facility, which was in process to happen this coming week.


Even after falling and breaking her hip before Christmas, and foregoing the surgery to repair it, she was only on Tylenol and only had pain if she tried to put weight on that leg and walk. Otherwise, she had no pain.


As requested (and as her PoA/Executor), I gave the rehab facility the name of the funeral home where she will be cremated. I know to ask for at least 5 copies of her death certificate. Other than this, I'm not sure what the process will be.


I'm in MN and she is in FL. Many of our family will be traveling from out of state for her Celebration of Life. Many have jobs and families.


Should I plan the event for a Friday or Saturday? Should I delay the event so that people have time to book flights, etc.? Two weeks or more? If we delay the funeral, is there a cost to store her body?


My Aunt Nancy spent all but 2 of her 100 years with her sister Anna (103, still living at their house). They even worked at the same company all their lives. So, their names are joint on everything... house, banking, investments, etc. She had a small life insurance policy from her company. Anna was her beneficiary on investments. She also owns a lot of EE bonds.


We were recently cashing out some of her investments, like CDs, getting ready to pay for rehab and facility care. Does this mean I have to file taxes for them?


Any suggestions regarding any of this is greatly appreciated.


Thank you, everyone!

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So sorry for your loss, G.
There have been so many nasty weather events impacting travel, I would wait until closer to spring. When people have to travel to a service they will miss work days, anyway. Day of week wouldn't really matter I wouldn't think.

Since she is to be cremated you don't need to store an urn. Or keep it with her sister until the time comes. No storage fees.
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Update:

We (me, hubs and my 93-yr old Mom) went to FL for the Catholic mass funeral. I gave the eulogy (very cathartic), there was a nice brunch back at the "twin" sister's house afterwards which was a wonderful time with family, friends, and neighbors. I will plan another Celebration of Life down there in June for all the relatives who couldn't make it to the funeral. We will all cram into the 2 adjoining houses and eat, laugh, and play together at "our" beach for a week, just like old times. My other Aunt will be 104 by then! She will love all the company.

Thank you to everyone on this forum for your kind words and support!
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JoAnn29 Feb 2023
So glad the funeral was so nice.
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Deepest condolences on your loss. So glad your aunt died peacefully. Praise God for answered prayers. The funeral home held mother's ashes until I was ready to send them east at no cost. It seems wise to give people time to make travel arrangements. Mother's lawyer looked after her estate and her tax people did the taxes so I can be of no help there. When in doubt I would get the help/advice of professionals.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thanks, Golden... I'm not a math person myself so will gladly get pros to do the "number-y" stuff.
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So sorry, dear Geaton. She sounds like a wonderful woman.

If she's being cremated, that can happen immediately unless you want to be there. I'd recommend a Saturday service so people who work a regular M-F job can get there.

Not sure about taxes, but you'll have to show a death certificate at all the banks to allow Anna 100% access to the accounts (My MIL and FIL were joint bank account holders, and she had to do this recently). Same with the deeds to everything. Lots of paperwork ahead.

Again, my condolences.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thank you!
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First of all, get a reputable estate lawyer to walk you through the financial aspects and make sure everything is done legally....to protect you! I am sure people would appreciate a Saturday service as opposed to a weekday. And, yes, giving people time to book flights would be a very nice gesture. I don't know if there are extra costs in delaying the service but so many people are doing this now.

I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that your responsibilities from here forward in dealing with the estate go smoothly.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thank you!
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Geaton777, my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family.

An Elder Law Attorney can walk you thought any questions you have. My parents Attorney was so very helpful.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Appreciate it, thanks so much!
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Geaton, so sorry for your loss. Also share your sentiment of the blessings of passing in her sleep and not having to face pain and an unwanted move. What a long and good life! Do the memorial when it’s best for the majority who will be attending, realizing there’ll never be a date that works for everyone. Both of your aunts have been so blessed to have you, wishing you peace and comfort in the days ahead
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thank you, I do feel peaceful! My sons have been texting me pictures of their visits with the Aunties in FL for the past 30+ years... they love them so much, it fills my heart!
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Geaton,

Thanking God with you that your prayers for your aunt were answered! What a lovely finale!
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thank you, cx... it doesn't get too much better an exit than that.
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Geaton, God is good, all the time.

No Matter how we think we have prepared, a death is a sudden loss. I am rejoicing that her journey is over and she didn't suffer.

I couldn't pick my dad up for months and the funeral home didn't charge storage for his cremains. Doesn't hurt to ask though.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Amen and thanks, working out the details with the remaining FL Auntie and peeps who want a traditional church funeral right away, vs all the MN peeps who want to wait until a later date because taking time off from work with kids and schedules is difficult and expensive. Something will be worked out...
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Call the funeral home tomorrow and they should be able to help you. You might have to sign documents for them to do the cremation. Sometimes there is a couple of days wait, whatever state laws entail. I assume they have an internet docusign available. They might require payment to proceed. Start planning an obit. Even if you do not put it in a newspaper, the funeral home can put it on their website. I actually needed that information when I was executor in my mom's state.
You can delay the celebration with cremation. As far as storage, the funeral home can ship ashes to you. I kept ashes in my home for a few weeks., partly because the coroner took a month to complete the death certificate. I carried my mom's ashes on a plane and contracted with another funeral home at her final destination. In both instances, I did both phone and in person.
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Geaton777 Jan 2023
Thanks, MAC!
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