Follow
Share

My mother is elderly and in poor health. She has neuropathy and has a great deal of difficulty getting around. She also has an alcohol problem. She lives alone in the home we grew up and and refuses to leave. She falls a lot and my siblings and I know that she needs care. Her mind is well. Is there a way we can allow her to stay home while hiring somebody to come in regularly to ensure she safe and to shop for her and to make sure she's taking her meds and getting around OK? I am not sure what our options are...

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
If you can afford it and she is willing to to have help in the home you can hire an aide to come in each day to do some personal care and household tasks. They remind her about her medicines but they can't "give" her medications. (A fine line but important when you need medication management.) You may also be able to get her signed up for "meals on wheels" if she isn't cooking and eating. The trick is will she accept the help? If she is still capable of making decisions (even bad ones) she is calling all the shots as many of us have found out and can sabotage your best efforts. One of these days her falls will precipitate the crisis that will mean she can't live at home so start thinking about the next stage which will be assisted living or skilled nursing care.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

You can't force your mom into an Assisted Living Facility unless she's compliant. You can certainly hire people to go into her home to help her, as you suggested, but she'd have to agree to that ALSO. If not, she can make the care givers life a living nightmare and they'd quit, forcing you to keep having to rehire new caregivers all the time. Obstinate parents are difficult to deal with, especially when alcohol comes into play to cloud bad judgement even FURTHER. Sigh.

My mother is almost 94 and has had bad neuropathy for at least the past 12 years. It's progressed (as neuropathy often does) to the point where she's gone from needing a cane to needing a walker to now being forced into a wheelchair full time. Before going into the wheelchair, the vertigo was SO horrific that I was taking her to an ENT constantly to administer the Epley maneuver. That would give her a couple of weeks of relief, then right back to bad vertigo she'd go. Vertigo can come about from neuropathy; being unaware of where you are in space; no feeling in the feet, bad eyesight & bad hearing = vertigo. She's fallen over 50x that we're aware of, while living in Assisted Living and now in Memory Care. I would be totally out of my mind by now had she been living alone instead of in managed care because my involvement with all of her neuropathy related issues ALONE has been staggering.

Wishing you the best of luck getting your mother to agree to some level of care here. If not, you may have to wait until a crisis occurs ie: she falls, breaks a hip or a femur, goes to rehab and then they refuse to release her back to independent living. At that point, she has NO other choice but to go into Assisted Living.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I think the main question is getting her first to doctor to assess safety at home, and what you can afford in terms of home care. It is important how competent she is in making decisions for herself. Those things ultimately will lead to the end decision. My partner's mother did a reverse mortgage in order to afford to stay home with care. It worked very well for her, but you must be careful and have good legal guidance if planning such a thing, as there are rules that could result in the loan coming due (say a need to move into care).
If alcoholism is suspected it is important that alcohol is not withdrawn abruptly, as that can be deadly.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter