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Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Dad says he needs a companion and my mother is not even in the ground yet! I am shocked. He has his own health issues and cognitive challenges and almost total hearing loss. What am I to do? I look at my dad differently now.
Sadly, this isn’t all that surprising with some men. Some men don’t want to be alone. It does seem like men are quicker to jump into finding a mate after death than women are.
He’s lonely and he is vulnerable because he’s grieving for your mom.
How long were they married?
I don’t know that you can do much of anything if he is serious about finding a companion.
What concerns do you have? Are you concerned that he will be taken advantage of by a woman who sees him as a target?
Does he have control of his money or do you?
Or you concerned about his heart being broken? Do you feel like he is being disrespectful to your mom?
You are grieving for your mom and all of these things could be upsetting to you.
In time, you may welcome the idea of your dad wishing to be with a mate.
If dad does meet someone, hopefully she will be a suitable partner for him and they will be happy together.
Your father has been paying his respects to your mother for four years. He doesn't like to live alone, but for her sake he has borne it, and now that he has lost her all he's done is voice his feelings. I can understand that it's too soon for you to hear it, only don't be shocked. Try to see his situation from his point of view.
I'm sorry for the loss of your Mom. People with cognitive impairment, like your Dad, are losing their abilities of reason, logic, time, memory and empathy. So, it's not really that unusual for him to behave like this so soon after his wife's passing, dismaying as it is. Try to look at your Dad as your LO who has a broken brain through no fault of his own. Please consider facility care where he will get a lot of good social interaction and activities that being alone in his home (or yours) will not provide. Plus medical attention for his health issues.
He is lonely and doesn't have to be. He's been grieving since your mom became ill. That's a long time, and he deserves your good wishes and understanding. Wouldn't it be wonderful to see him smiling and happy again after the ordeal you've all endured?
Your father has been alone for over 4 years already. Now that his wife has passed on, he feels like it's okay for him to seek out companionship and stop feeling so lonely. What should have shocked you was if dad told you all this while mom was still alive. But he didn't. We read all sorts of posts here from spouse's looking for "pen pals" or meaningful relationships or friends with benefits while their spouse is still alive, and they're caring for them at home but feeling lonely! They come here looking to justify their "right" to take a lover under "the circumstances." Your father has done no such thing, but remained faithful and loyal the entire time your mom was alive and living in managed care, God love him. Give the poor soul a break and don't look at him differently. Instead, put the shoe on the other foot and imagine what it must've been like for him for the past 4+ years. Now he's got cognitive and profound hearing loss to deal with also, so he just needs some love and comfort right now. Please don't hold it against him.
My condolences on the loss of your dear mom. Wishing you the best of luck with all you're trying to deal with.
Its going to be hard for dad to find a lady friend if he cant hear a word she is saying. Or is he just looking for sex at this point? If he wants a relationship he needs to get hearing aids, start going to the local senior center and start meeting women.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Sadly, this isn’t all that surprising with some men. Some men don’t want to be alone. It does seem like men are quicker to jump into finding a mate after death than women are.
He’s lonely and he is vulnerable because he’s grieving for your mom.
How long were they married?
I don’t know that you can do much of anything if he is serious about finding a companion.
What concerns do you have? Are you concerned that he will be taken advantage of by a woman who sees him as a target?
Does he have control of his money or do you?
Or you concerned about his heart being broken? Do you feel like he is being disrespectful to your mom?
You are grieving for your mom and all of these things could be upsetting to you.
In time, you may welcome the idea of your dad wishing to be with a mate.
If dad does meet someone, hopefully she will be a suitable partner for him and they will be happy together.
Your father has been paying his respects to your mother for four years. He doesn't like to live alone, but for her sake he has borne it, and now that he has lost her all he's done is voice his feelings. I can understand that it's too soon for you to hear it, only don't be shocked. Try to see his situation from his point of view.
Was he able to visit her regularly?
My condolences on the loss of your dear mom. Wishing you the best of luck with all you're trying to deal with.