She has hearing problems, COPD but smokes. She had stage 3 lung cancer, ct scans show it’s gone. She constantly complains about living alone and expects me to take care of her. She openly admitted “well that’s why u have children so they can take care of u when ur old”. We disagree constantly, she talks about everyone. My brother does as little as possible. He has her over for dinner and brings her for rides, he lives right down the street. I bring her to all her dr appointments. I visit a few times a week but she complains about living alone every day is stressing me out. She won’t leave her house and is particular about having strangers in her house. Any suggestions?
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I suggest you try and find an Assisted Living community for your mother......one that permits smoking (which would have to be outside, of course) so she can pay others to care for her. If she refuses to leave her house and go to an ALF, then wish her well and continue as you have been........taking her to doctor appointments, AS YOU ARE ABLE. And wait for The Event that happens which gets her an ambulance ride to the hospital, then rehab. When rehab refuses to allow her to return to independent living, then she will HAVE to be placed, even if it's in a nursing home with Medicaid paying for it.
That's the way it goes. It can happen the easy way or the hard way, it's up to her. But you will NOT be moving her into your home.
You are not responsible for entertaining her.
It should be everyone sharing or the parent should be placed in a facility. Bottom line, too much for one person, period!