She will tell me she's constipated but the nurses will tell me she's been to the bathroom all day.
I believe she's depressed because she tells me all the time she wants to die. Even to the point of saying how she could kill herself.
She has had a very blessed life and very fortunate but she can't seem to focus on the joy in her life.
I think she may need an antidepressant to help her. Does anyone have any experience with antidepressants for their elderly parent?
She forgets when she last had a bowl movement particularly if she is incontinent and wearing tab type briefs or pull up type products.
Add to that the fact that one of the things all the "professionals" ask is..when was your last BM, or they will ask the aid..when was her last BM?
Then you have everyone else talking about the same thing around the breakfast table..because no one has seen the latest movie, read the paper or had a nice gossip by the water cooler it is the one thing everyone can talk about.
Just like little kids are fascinated by the same thing. They want to "look" before the toilet is flushed, they hold it until they get cramps. It is the one of the only things a kid can "control" that is theirs. Same with a person with dementia..they may not be able to control it but you sure can talk about it.
And I must say when my Husband was on Hospice I talked about it. I rejoiced when he had a BM, I would tell the CNA or the Nurse when, how large and how firm. I was concerned when he did not have a BM for a few days, I concocted mixtures that would help prevent constipation that he would not mind taking.
(By the way a mixture of Pureed pineapple and papaya is good for preventing constipation and when constipated I was given this recipe..1/4 cup prune juice, 1/4 cup milk of magnesia and 1/4 cup orange juice warmed up. It was called "the bomb" and it worked like a charm)
As for the depression next time she sees the doctor bring it up there are plenty of anti anxiety medications it is a matter of finding the one that works and the right dose. But you have to weigh the risk of side effects. Is the risk of a fall and a broken hip, wrist, leg or head injury worth it?
I don’t have an answer, but my mother is 94 and is very much the same. She asks for a “tranquilizer”. I am hesitant to have the doctor give her more than she is taking because of risk of falls and general decline in quality of life if overmedicated. I will follow this post and see if other answers are helpful.
But just know you are not alone.