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My mom is a 72-yr-old dependent. She goes to the store, walking, to the bank or takes the bus the around corner from her home. She has diabetes and high blood pressure. It's been a year that once a week she calls me at 1am crying that the upstairs neighbor is spraying raid or a chemical on second floor and the odor is coming to her apt thru the sprinkler or lights causing her to not be able to breathe. My sister did go once to check and said it did smell bad. She open the windows for air to come in. I feel like she's the one that is spraying because she has air fresheners for the odor. 3 weeks ago she called me again, I went and didn't smell anything. She called me this week today at 1:30am crying that she called the cops because the smell was so bad she wanted to throw up. The cops didn't smell anything. I don't know what to do. She's smart and independent. She doesn't want to live with me or my sister and she says she's happy there. It is just the smell that is bothering her. She wants to move to another apt, which I relayed to the manager, but there's none available at the moment. I feel like she's the one spraying it. She will call me at night and tell me there are men breaking into cars because she has a view to the parking lot, but the alarms don't go off and she says they go inside the apts and that she could hear them slam the door. I didn't believe her, but someone called the cops and caught 3 dudes going into cars... So what do you guys think?

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Sounds like your mother is having cognitive issues
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Sounds like dementia to me. I would have her tested, She appears to be hallucinating,
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1. Buy your mom an air purifier.

2. Keep track of when she is making these phone calls to you for one week.

3. Make an appointment for mom to see her doctor and YOU accompany her to the doctor. Type out a summary of this issue for the doctor beforehand and give it to the receptionist when you check in.

Mom needs to be seen. This delusion could be related to a UTI, dementia, a brain tumor or a slew of things that cannot possibly be known until she is examined.
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While mom may be having delusions, if someone called the police about the car break ins and three people were picked up for breaking into cars, then maybe she's not so delusional. As for the spray smell. That's an odd one and it really does call for an MD visit if no one else is smelling it. And if your mom is the "secret sprayer" then it still needs an MD visit. It may be that's doing this to get your attention, but you can't be sure.
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Has anyone actually talked to the upstairs neighbor to see if they are indeed spraying anything?

If her apartment was cheaply built I can completely believe that she's smelling something from upstairs. I still remember my college apartment -- a cinder block building built in the 1940s -- where I noticed smoke coming out of one of my electrical outlets. Turned out it was pot smoke from my stoner neighbor wafting through the outlet on the other side of the wall.
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Sometimes the sense of smell is impacted by TIAs, which your mother may be experiencing as an effect of her high blood pressure especially if she sometimes misses medication doses (blood pressure usually increases overnight). As MJ1929 notes, smells can also move from one apartment to another; maybe the apartment management is having an exterminator spray common areas or storage areas monthly?
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Ohwow323 May 2023
did not know this about TIA's. will make note of this. thank you
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I like the idea of an air purifier. Also please talk to the neighbor upstairs. As soon as they open the door you should be able to determine if it is in fact them. Put her on a wait list for a new apt.
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My mother smells things too. She decided one day to rewash all her closet of clothing because everything "stank". Then she went to the chest of drawers and found the same, did the same. She can eat, walk away, come back, smell the food and say it's bad and stinks. Mind you, there are no unclean clothing items in her room, bad food, wet carpets...etc. It's her brain playing tricks on her senses.
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Get her a air Purifier , talk to the Neighbors . Perhaps sleep Over when this Happens . I would Not dismiss her complaints entirely .
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If multiple other people have confirmed that there is no smell, she's likely imagining it. You say she's "smart and independent". That doesn't mean she isn't suffering from some sort of mild cognitive decline. It happens to the best of us.
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I can’t imagine why your mom would be spraying anything.

Some people are super sensitive to smells. Is your mom that way?

Have you tried speaking with her landlord? He could investigate the situation and get back to you.

Maybe there is some underlying reason for this but I wouldn’t automatically assume that there is. I would have the landlord thoroughly investigate the situation first.

If you start to see unusual behavior in other areas or if she is developing certain patterns, then I would have questions as to why is she behaving like this.

I wouldn’t have an issue with her moving to a new unit. You could ask if she could be placed on a waiting list.

Good luck with finding the solution to this mystery smell!
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