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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Well, you need help.. Check Salvation Army in your area. They used to offer Adult Day care.. Not sure if they do anymore.
If you can, tour some AL places in your area that may be close by to you. See if they offer "Aging in Place".. they can be in same facility but according to their needs.. etc... You get it. You may also want to check out your neighborhood to see any one-story homes with a permanent wheel chair ramp at front door. They may be a 6-pack..6 residents, and full-time staff at least 2 people to take care of their needs. If you do drive by one... see if staff will answer the door. If they do, ask for a business card so you can talk to the management and schedule a tour.. It's just you, Mom, and the Dog.... Can she walk? If you can get her into the car, just go to the strand, park and watch the water.
Flooding the bathroom.. Perhaps a portapotty may be part of a solution... No more tissues in the toilet. Just put 1/2 roll of paper in there at a time...Save an empty roll and transfer part of a new roll on empty roll... Poor thing... both of you... I am sorry...
It's not going to be easy, and you will feel guilt when you place her.. Start looking now, and talk to as many facilities as you can, and if you like on or the staff, keep popping in to get another look.. Look to see if anyone is in the main hall, or if everyone is tucked away out of sight... Get your own feel of the places you visit... How do they treat you when you come in? Visually look around, smell, see who is present, approachable, etc... How do you deal with your LO’s behavior if your a full time Caregiving? I’m at a loss🥲.... See, if you place her,,, your role will be to give her joy, music, milkshakes, fun times, attend activities, etc... :) Leave the care taking to the staff, you enjoy your mom for whom she is. Other family members around? Make weekend picnics or visits... Then again... I did this before COVID... things have changed in some facilities... i keep forgetting... Best look at a 6 pack.. Since it's a smaller place with less people, restrictions may not be so implemented.
As already said, only have her use a bedside commode. That will save on the flooding of the bathroom. Then start coming up with a plan B for mom, which yes will include perhaps placing her in the appropriate facility. And don't beat yourself up about losing it with your mom, as ALL of us used to be full-time caregivers or still full-time caregivers have lost it with our loved ones at some point or another. It comes with the territory, so be kind to yourself. Wishing you peace going forward.
Either the commode, or simply turn off the water in the toilet until you’re using it or flushing her waste. Super gross, but you’ll also be able to see if she put stuff in the toilet that would mean a 500 bill for the plumber.
Mom can't be left alone to go to the bathroom or a flood will ensue, as you've seen. If her care is more than you can handle, place her in Memory Care Assisted Living or a Skilled Nursing care facility with Medicaid. In home care is another option to give you respite, but is likely more expensive than memory care AL.
I was not able to deal with my mothers myriad of issues including dementia, so she lived in Memory Care Assisted Living and did great with "her girls" and I had a life at the same time. I'd have been totally out of my realm trying to care for, and toilet, her at home. Not to mention getting her hoisted in and out of bed, medicated, showered, entertained, fed 3 hot meals a day and 3 snacks, socialized, etc. I had no experience in such things so I left it to those who did.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Strong.
Do you want to get it all off your chest? Write it down, in a journal, a letter to yourself? Let some of the anger, frustration, sadness out? Grief?
Happy to make suggestions to lightening your load, how to add help, the who, where etc.
SEEING the full load can be the start.
If you can, tour some AL places in your area that may be close by to you. See if they offer "Aging in Place".. they can be in same facility but according to their needs.. etc... You get it.
You may also want to check out your neighborhood to see any one-story homes with a permanent wheel chair ramp at front door. They may be a 6-pack..6 residents, and full-time staff at least 2 people to take care of their needs. If you do drive by one... see if staff will answer the door. If they do, ask for a business card so you can talk to the management and schedule a tour..
It's just you, Mom, and the Dog.... Can she walk? If you can get her into the car, just go to the strand, park and watch the water.
Poor thing... both of you... I am sorry...
It's not going to be easy, and you will feel guilt when you place her.. Start looking now, and talk to as many facilities as you can, and if you like on or the staff, keep popping in to get another look.. Look to see if anyone is in the main hall, or if everyone is tucked away out of sight... Get your own feel of the places you visit... How do they treat you when you come in? Visually look around, smell, see who is present, approachable, etc...
How do you deal with your LO’s behavior if your a full time Caregiving? I’m at a loss🥲.... See, if you place her,,, your role will be to give her joy, music, milkshakes, fun times, attend activities, etc... :) Leave the care taking to the staff, you enjoy your mom for whom she is. Other family members around? Make weekend picnics or visits... Then again... I did this before COVID... things have changed in some facilities... i keep forgetting...
Best look at a 6 pack.. Since it's a smaller place with less people, restrictions may not be so implemented.
Then start coming up with a plan B for mom, which yes will include perhaps placing her in the appropriate facility.
And don't beat yourself up about losing it with your mom, as ALL of us used to be full-time caregivers or still full-time caregivers have lost it with our loved ones at some point or another. It comes with the territory, so be kind to yourself.
Wishing you peace going forward.
I was not able to deal with my mothers myriad of issues including dementia, so she lived in Memory Care Assisted Living and did great with "her girls" and I had a life at the same time. I'd have been totally out of my realm trying to care for, and toilet, her at home. Not to mention getting her hoisted in and out of bed, medicated, showered, entertained, fed 3 hot meals a day and 3 snacks, socialized, etc. I had no experience in such things so I left it to those who did.
Best of luck to you.