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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Dorianne, you would sleep till 1 or 2 in the afternoon if you could! I can and I do! After 10 years of keeping the hours I had to for caregiving (and lots of sleep deprivation) I am finally following what my body wants to do. That is generally staying up all night, and sleeping from 7 am to 2:30 pm or so. This isn't always convenient, of course, but I make all my appointments for late afternoon and make this work as well as I can.
There is nothing particularly magic or preferable to being a morning person!
Gemtwin1966, in what way is this a problem? Left on her own, how late would she stay in bed?
Is it a matter of convenience, for example needing her to get dressed for a day program, or dressing her before you leave for work and an aide comes?
Are you worried that she is depressed? That she is staying in bed to avoid facing the day? Or that she has some kind of acute illness or infection?
When it became clear that my husband (with dementia) simply liked to sleep in, and the problem with that was convenience, I did what I could to make starting later more convenient. I moved his start time at his adult day program and hour later, and had his PCP start later in the morning, too. (It was great for her, since she could see her daughter off to school before she left home.)
If you can rule out illness or depression, I'd say let her sleep late.
Dementia can really mess up our body's natural rhythms, including out internal clocks. My husband needed something to reduce anxiety so he could sleep at night, and also something to combat excessive daytime sleepiness.
Talk to MIL's doctor about her sleep issues. If the overall amount of sleep she is getting is not way out of line, then the exact hours she is getting it may not be a huge concern. If she is sleeping 19 hours a day, that is something to share with the doctor.
My mom was always a late riser. Once she went to Independent Living, we told her it was fine to sleep in and have instant oatmeal in her room.
When she went into a nursing home, we ascertained before we moved her that she would be able stay up late and watch TV with headphones, sleep in and have breakfast in bed. The NH used to get her up and dressed around 10.30 am.
@jeannegibbs: a little jealous, I must admit. Lol.
I think I'd only be worried about it if it's a new behavior, which could be a signal of depression. It could also be the result of sundowning, maybe? Like, if you're up late at night, it seems natural to end up sleeping late during the day. Our bodies do require a certain amount of sleep. (Edit: or if that person is recently retired, they could just be doing what they've always wanted to do but couldn't.)
I am a late riser. Never ever in my life have I been a morning person. I should come with a warning sign in the morning, actually. I would sleep till 1 or 2 in the afternoon if I could! No matter how tired I am, my brain and body "wake up" at precisely 10 PM, and I feel compelled to do something creative, or learn something new, or clean some mess I've been ignoring. I've painted my walls at 3 AM. I fake it through daily life, but when I retire....man, I am gonna sleep all day and stay up all night. Like a cat.
My mom used to be the opposite until illness started taking over. She has end stage renal disease and some dementia, and has suffered from depression all her life. She didn't identify it as depression until she was nearly 60. Staying in bed for long periods of time can be a sign of depression. If this is a new behavior for your mom, she may be aware of the dementia or other feelings of general decline, and she could definitely be depressed about it. It's hard to get up in the morning if you feel you have nothing to look forward to. I don't know if it's worth looking into an anti-depressant, but you could talk to her doctor about it.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
There is nothing particularly magic or preferable to being a morning person!
Is it a matter of convenience, for example needing her to get dressed for a day program, or dressing her before you leave for work and an aide comes?
Are you worried that she is depressed? That she is staying in bed to avoid facing the day? Or that she has some kind of acute illness or infection?
When it became clear that my husband (with dementia) simply liked to sleep in, and the problem with that was convenience, I did what I could to make starting later more convenient. I moved his start time at his adult day program and hour later, and had his PCP start later in the morning, too. (It was great for her, since she could see her daughter off to school before she left home.)
If you can rule out illness or depression, I'd say let her sleep late.
Talk to MIL's doctor about her sleep issues. If the overall amount of sleep she is getting is not way out of line, then the exact hours she is getting it may not be a huge concern. If she is sleeping 19 hours a day, that is something to share with the doctor.
When she went into a nursing home, we ascertained before we moved her that she would be able stay up late and watch TV with headphones, sleep in and have breakfast in bed. The NH used to get her up and dressed around 10.30 am.
I think I'd only be worried about it if it's a new behavior, which could be a signal of depression. It could also be the result of sundowning, maybe? Like, if you're up late at night, it seems natural to end up sleeping late during the day. Our bodies do require a certain amount of sleep. (Edit: or if that person is recently retired, they could just be doing what they've always wanted to do but couldn't.)
My mom used to be the opposite until illness started taking over. She has end stage renal disease and some dementia, and has suffered from depression all her life. She didn't identify it as depression until she was nearly 60. Staying in bed for long periods of time can be a sign of depression. If this is a new behavior for your mom, she may be aware of the dementia or other feelings of general decline, and she could definitely be depressed about it. It's hard to get up in the morning if you feel you have nothing to look forward to. I don't know if it's worth looking into an anti-depressant, but you could talk to her doctor about it.