My 93-year-old mother has been scammed twice. She doesn't know how much money she has in her account except what bank tells her. She can't write and has others in assisted living write her checks. She has stock, but is not aware of how much. Are my brothers and I responsible to take care of her if she runs out of money?
"Sadkid22
3 hours ago
Renee,
Depends on the state your mom lives in. Some states have a requirement that children must financially support their parents if the parents are financially insecure. Google your question and the list of states will be available. I know PA has this rule, but NY does not. Good Luck."
Unless anyone co-signed any contract with Mother, no one is responsible for paying for her care. No State anywhere should force a family to pay for her care. What happens if family has no money to pay? Force mother to go to a family home or worse yet, be sent to the street? So inhumane! That is what Medicaid is for, to resort to financial assistance when her funds run out. The time to see an eldercare attorney is Now!
Patathome01
You should probably enlist the help of a certified elder care attorney to guide you and you should definitely get that checkbook and any credit cards out of Mom's hands and out of the facility.. pronto.
Generally, unless your last name is DuPont, when a parent runs out of funds, the family applies for Medicaid. A few things to be mindful of re: Medicaid.
* It can be a long tedious, paper intensive project (bank statements for 3-5 years, etc).
*There is usually a 5 year look over the shoulder which means no extravagant gifts to the children or grandchildren. Some of that scamming that she is subject to now may count which is why you are going to gallop to the facility and grab that checkbook!
*Not all facilities take Medicaid as that payment is much lower than their regular charge. You need to find out now if her current facility will take Medicaid and if they will guarantee her a bed if she goes on Medicaid. I say it that way because many facilities will allocate a small percentage of their beds to Medicaid recipients but if those beds are filled when a long time resident needs one.... well the long time resident is just out of luck and needs to find another accepting facility. In my senior health career I have seen this happen so many times I lost count.
Wishing you good luck and peace in this journey.
You need to figure out how many bank accounts she has, get your name on them either as payable upon death to you or to sign checks for her - don't let others write checks for her. Another scam could come up. You also need to find out what stocks she has. I would think if you could find her IRS records, that would be a good trail to locate everything.
In Texas, if she spends her money (savings and stocks) down to under $2000, she would probably qualify for Medicaid and a Nursing Home bed. Of course that would depend on how much monthly income she has left. If her monthly income is enough right now to pay for assisted living, she probably has enough monthly income to pay for a nursing home without having to apply for Medicaid.
It sounds like you may not know very much about her finances, so best to become educated so that you can talk to an elder atty to find out what needs to be done for her.
Depends on the state your mom lives in. Some states have a requirement that children must financially support their parents if the parents are financially insecure. Google your question and the list of states will be available. I know PA has this rule, but NY does not. Good Luck.
If she is about to run out if money then you can apply for Medicaid.
my Mom is about to run out of long term care insurance and will be private pay. Thankfully she has savings but at $8250 a month and family longevity on her side I may be in the same position one day
I had to take away her credit cards and check book as she spent money in unbelievable ways. If I hadn't, she would have run out of money immediately. If your mother is spending unnecessary money or being scammed, you need to take action as it is easy to spend or give away money.
Please make a group appointment with an Elder Law Attorney.
While I respect the opinion being made by some of those commenting that you have no responsibility, the fact you are asking the question indicates you are very concerned, as you should be. I would have never allowed someone else to have control over my mom's finances.
I suggest you discuss the situation with an attorney pronto to see if any charges are warranted against those involved in scamming your mom. I would also touch base with your state/county office for the aging and county dept. of social services, regarding your state's Medicaid process. Good luck.
Just to be prepared find out if her current facility takes Medicaid and if they will oversee the process of applying for it should she get to that point. You may find they don’t have Medicaid beds or that she will need to move to another section and these are things that may be good to remind her of if there are times that she’s making bad financial moves. It’s a choice.
While her children aren’t legally responsible for her financially usually children want what is best for their elderly parents and at least try to take on some responsibility for helping them get the safest, best care in their final years. I may have overstepped or assumed here in getting into the things you can do to help rather than just answer your question, if so my apologies. Good luck!
The POA should always sign the person’s name not their own name except to add “by (POA name), POA/Agent
I have heard stories of payments being solicited from family members. Anything is possible I suppose but I don’t see how it could possibly be legal to try to hold family members responsible for expenses incurred by another family member unless they are a married couple. Under that scenario a long lost financially irresponsible brother who winds up in a facility could financially ruin his/her siblings? Not happening.
Prayers
I am so tired of old people giving money to scammers. And when adult children try to help they are viewed by the same senior as trying to scam them.
Filial laws are not enforceable. Your mother doesnt get to squander her money and then the state steps in and forces you pay for her care and living expenses. Nope. Sorry not happening.
Nobody has to accept power of attorney, but if you have done then you have accepted a duty to use it. Your brother seems to have missed that bit. It may not make him liable for supporting your mother if she runs out of money but it will leave him with a lot of explaining to do as to why he didn't intervene. Why won't he?
You and your brothers need to hire an Elder Law Attorney (with her funds) to get guidance on planning Mom's future as a person without funds........bring her bank statements (make everything autopay) and ask for help in applying for Medicaid,
No, you will not be responsible for her care. Even with filial laws, a child will not be impoverished to care for a parent. Very few States even have these laws and are writing them off the books because they are pre-Medicaid.
The scam should be reported to the police so its on record. Are you estranged from Mom? Does anyone have POA because I too don't think its smart to have checks where they can be stolen or credit cards. If Mom has any metal decline, someone should at least have the ability to pay her bills.
When she starts running out of money then Medicaid is applied for. See if her State Medicaid will pay after she pays privately for 2 yrs and if her AL excepts Medicaid. The AL director should be able to give you that info. If she can't remain at the AL, then its Medicaid in Long-term facility or a Board and Care. Application has to be done when she only has enough money for 2 or 3 months.