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Hello,
My parents are 82yrs old & living in their home in Georgia. My mother is bedbound with several co-morbidities including memory loss . Yet , she is the most manipulative, evil person on earth. My father has stage 4 Parkinson’s . He is competent at times but sometimes has confusion & hallucinations . They made me , their only child, their POA decades ago but my mother does not want me involved in their affairs. My father has always managed their affairs . He asked me to take over their financial affairs several years ago which I have done successfully. He also made me his Health care agent because he did not trust his wife to make the best decisions. This made her angrier & vindictive towards both of us. They desire to remain in home & pay for private nurses and at this time they can afford to do so. The problem is….. she tells the nurses NOT to check on my father and feeds them lies. I have a security camera in my father’s room and I’ve noted nights where no one checked on him. Over the years , she has paid nurses to steal his mail & credit cards. Unfortunately I don’t have hard proof but I’ve received various reports from other nurses . She would fire nurses if she couldn’t control them. I had to hire his own private nurse to stay with him during day. My mother claimed to have hired a night nurse for both of them but she demands that nurse stay by her side the entire shift. She has never showed any concern for my dad. I’ve called APS but she fooled them with her sweet lies. They saw the nice house & private nurses & figured everything was fine. I’m now in a position to care for my father , with help, in my own home. However , my mom threatens to sue me . When I kept him for a weekend ,she called the police and said I kidnapped him! She is only interested in controlling the money . I’ve wanted to petition for guardianship but I feel like she will pass the Cognitive test , and deny any of her wrongdoing. How can I free my dad from his evil wife?

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Does your father want to live with you ?
If he does and you are his POA, maybe that’s enough . I’m not sure . Go to an elder care lawyer . Good luck .
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Oldntired Dec 18, 2023
Thanks! My father is torn.
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You say you are POA.
This is a mess.
You need an attorney and the POA pays for this attorney out of the parents funds, just as the in home caregivers are paid in this manner.
What you have here is two parents whose competency under the law is completely unknow and who are at war with one another as likely they were their entire marriage.

You need the advice of an Elder Law Attorney and as I said, this is paid for by the POA.
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Knowing a little about Parkinson as being slow progressing disease was it your mother who took care of father for at least a decade or longer? Each stage lasts between 3-5 years in general.
If so was she not responsible for everything? Took care of him, perhaps it was too much if he controlled everything?
He asked you to take over their financial affairs, did she agree to that as well, in marriage those choices are by mutual agreement only.
I am caring for husband with PD and while he has no dementia whatsoever he is probably at the end of stage 3.
However, if he ever criticizes my spending habits I will not tolerate that at all.
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Does your dad want out of this situation? The decision is his.
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Oldntired Dec 18, 2023
My dad is conflicted. He knows his wife is neglecting him but he feels a sense of “duty “ to stay. He doesn’t want to abandon her. Sometimes he doesn’t make good decisions for himself due to periods of confusion. I guess I need to consult with Elder Law. I was just wondering if anyone has had the pleasure of caring for parents that are trying to kill each other! lol
Thanks for your response!
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