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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I'm so sorry that you are both in this distressing situation.
The basic facts are: if she does not have a DPoA assigned, then you do not have any control. Therefore (if she doesn't cooperate with any help) you must contact Adult Protective Services (APS) and report her as a vulnerable adult. They will come in and assess her situation and will likely move for guardianship at some point. Then they will have the legal ability to get her the medical and personal care she needs. They will a facility for her and manage all her financial assets, including her house. You can be the guardian's best resource by providing them with important information and personal preferences that she has. You may even be able to influence where she goes (if it's too far away for you to reasonable travel to visit her).
You don't have to tell your sister that you're doing this, but you may want to inform her neighbors and friends to her current condition and situation so that they can help keep an eye on her in the interim.
I wish you much success in helping her and peace in your heart that this is the best that can be done by you or anyone, given the circumstances.
You know, sometimes we just have to wait for an accident to happen to an elderly loved one, unfortunately. Then they're rushed to the ER for treatment, admitted to the hospital, sent to rehab to recuperate and then the doctor refuses to release them back home to live independently. THEN they have no other choice but to be placed in managed care. Period. That's what happened to my father after he fell and broke his hip. Even though he lived in Independent Living with my mother, the rehab SNF refused to release him back there with mom helping him; she was too old and feeble herself to qualify as a 'caregiver', so I had to place them both in Assisted Living. Done and done.
Stubbornness doesn't really help the elder in the long run. In reality, your sister is better off making a wise decision for herself NOW than having someone else make it FOR her later. But, with dementia at play, logic & reason has flown the coop, so there's that to consider as well.
If you hold POA for her, however, you can have her placed in Memory Care against her will, if she's diagnosed with dementia. If she's living in unsafe conditions, and has the financial wherewithal to pay her own way in MC, then you can move her in whether she wants to go or not. That's your call.
So sorry for the situation you find yourself in. I know how darn frustrated you feel, too, and helpless to solve this problem. Best of luck.
With dementia she should be in Memory Care not AL. If no one has POA or other legal authority there is not much you can do until something happens. IF you think her home is unsafe, or she is unsafe in it or she is not caring for herself you can make a call to APS or your State's Elder Abuse hotline. A follow up by APS may put in motion the possibility of Guardianship. But until that happens or if she is take to the hospital there is not much you can do., If she is taken to the hospital you talk to the Social Worker and explain that she can not be released to home as she is unsafe and has not caregivers. (and that is IF you are notified if she is take to the hospital )
Who is helping your sister now? Do you live near her? You might want to call the local Area on Aging in her county and explain her situation. Sometimes they have the resources to do a needs analysis and help guide you to local resources based on your sisters unique situation. Do a search for area agency on aging, her county, her state to find their office. This is often where you can sign up for Meals on Wheels if you think that will be helpful. As others have said, sometimes it is difficult to persuade a loved one to seek help until they have an accident or illness that lands them in the hospital. Then it is important to be ready to help the hospital understand her living circumstances.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
The basic facts are: if she does not have a DPoA assigned, then you do not have any control. Therefore (if she doesn't cooperate with any help) you must contact Adult Protective Services (APS) and report her as a vulnerable adult. They will come in and assess her situation and will likely move for guardianship at some point. Then they will have the legal ability to get her the medical and personal care she needs. They will a facility for her and manage all her financial assets, including her house. You can be the guardian's best resource by providing them with important information and personal preferences that she has. You may even be able to influence where she goes (if it's too far away for you to reasonable travel to visit her).
You don't have to tell your sister that you're doing this, but you may want to inform her neighbors and friends to her current condition and situation so that they can help keep an eye on her in the interim.
I wish you much success in helping her and peace in your heart that this is the best that can be done by you or anyone, given the circumstances.
Stubbornness doesn't really help the elder in the long run. In reality, your sister is better off making a wise decision for herself NOW than having someone else make it FOR her later. But, with dementia at play, logic & reason has flown the coop, so there's that to consider as well.
If you hold POA for her, however, you can have her placed in Memory Care against her will, if she's diagnosed with dementia. If she's living in unsafe conditions, and has the financial wherewithal to pay her own way in MC, then you can move her in whether she wants to go or not. That's your call.
So sorry for the situation you find yourself in. I know how darn frustrated you feel, too, and helpless to solve this problem. Best of luck.
If no one has POA or other legal authority there is not much you can do until something happens.
IF you think her home is unsafe, or she is unsafe in it or she is not caring for herself you can make a call to APS or your State's Elder Abuse hotline. A follow up by APS may put in motion the possibility of Guardianship.
But until that happens or if she is take to the hospital there is not much you can do.,
If she is taken to the hospital you talk to the Social Worker and explain that she can not be released to home as she is unsafe and has not caregivers. (and that is IF you are notified if she is take to the hospital )
You might want to call the local Area on Aging in her county and explain her situation.
Sometimes they have the resources to do a needs analysis and help guide you to local resources based on your sisters unique situation. Do a search for area agency on aging, her county, her state to find their office. This is often where you can sign up for Meals on Wheels if you think that will be helpful.
As others have said, sometimes it is difficult to persuade a loved one to seek help until they have an accident or illness that lands them in the hospital. Then it is important to be ready to help the hospital understand her living circumstances.