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Who are you caring for?
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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Can't change her pull-ups or wash her. I don't know what to do and she won't let her aide touch her either. This has been going on for a month now. HELP!
She requires a care team now, and likely medication as well. She is no longer appropriate for in home care. Not everything can be fixed. She should be taken to an ER for evaluation and for checking for a UTI. If you must call 911 to accomplish this, then do so. As soon as she is in the care of the hospital, leave; they have your phone number. And get social services working on placing her; let them know you can no longer physically manage her care.
Your sister obviously needs some calming medication(s) prescribed by her neurologist, so please make sure that happens. She also may be having some pain as well, so that needs to be addressed too. If her aide cannot get your sister to cooperate, you may have to find another one that is used to dealing with folks with dementia, as not all are. And honestly if your sisters care is just too much for you all, then placement in a memory care facility will have to be the next step.
Thanks for all the advice, I feel better when someone actually listens. She is on medication but it’s not working, I don’t want her to sleep all day then she will be up all night. I have been through 3aides they are not much help, but they do sit with her. It’s so sad and heartbreaking
Advice is given to get an aide or place someone in a facility. This is not as easy as it may sound. Aides are hard to find, sometimes unreliable and expensive. So is memory care. You can't put someone in a care facility unless there is a space available. Just because a person needs to be in such a facility it may not be possible to find one. Leaving a person at the hospital won't work, because as soon as they can, the hospital will want to discharge the person. They will find a place for her, but probably not where you would wat her to be.
Cost is another factor. Your sisters will have to spend all her money (if she has any) before she will be eligible for Medicaid.
You are lucky to be her sister rather than her spouse. Spouses lose most of the money they have managed to save throughout life when one of them has to go into a facility. Half of all the assets (minus the house and one car) must be spent before the person in the nursing home qualifies for Medicaid. It may not make the spouse still at home into a pauper, but it comes darn close.
Call an agency for aides or look on Care.com. I had no problem finding ALs or Memory Care for my mother. It sounds like you don't want to spend any money. What good is it to have money if it's not spent on personal care?
Your sister needs to be in a memory care facility now. Get her placed. In the meantime she also needs to be medicated. Whatever she's on isn't working. Call her doctor and ask him to prescribe lorazepam or diazepam in liquid form. About 15 minutes before you and an aide (two people) are going to be getting her washed up and changed, give her something tasty to drink and dose it. This will keep her mellow enough to get her washed up in bed and in a clean diaper. Dose her at night too. Ask the doctor if he can prescribe a sleeping medication that would be compatible with a benzodiazepine drugs. This will help put her out at night.
I was a homecare worker for 25 years. I've seen this scenario play out many, many times. A person has dementia and won't allow themselves to be cleaned up or changed. You do it anyway. Let her scream herself voiceless, do it anyway. A person cannot be left in a spoiled pull-up or diaper because that will lead to so many types of health problems from UTI's to skin sores. Your sister is at the point now in her dementia where pull-ups should be a thing of the past. She should be in actual tabbed adult diapers now.
Look for a memory care facility. If she gets too hard to handle you can bring her to a hospital ER and ask for a 'Social Admit' because she cannot be cared for at home anymore. They will admit her until they find a memory care that has an available bed. This action is the last resort.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
She also may be having some pain as well, so that needs to be addressed too.
If her aide cannot get your sister to cooperate, you may have to find another one that is used to dealing with folks with dementia, as not all are.
And honestly if your sisters care is just too much for you all, then placement in a memory care facility will have to be the next step.
Cost is another factor. Your sisters will have to spend all her money (if she has any) before she will be eligible for Medicaid.
You are lucky to be her sister rather than her spouse. Spouses lose most of the money they have managed to save throughout life when one of them has to go into a facility. Half of all the assets (minus the house and one car) must be spent before the person in the nursing home qualifies for Medicaid. It may not make the spouse still at home into a pauper, but it comes darn close.
In the meantime she also needs to be medicated. Whatever she's on isn't working. Call her doctor and ask him to prescribe lorazepam or diazepam in liquid form. About 15 minutes before you and an aide (two people) are going to be getting her washed up and changed, give her something tasty to drink and dose it. This will keep her mellow enough to get her washed up in bed and in a clean diaper. Dose her at night too. Ask the doctor if he can prescribe a sleeping medication that would be compatible with a benzodiazepine drugs. This will help put her out at night.
I was a homecare worker for 25 years. I've seen this scenario play out many, many times. A person has dementia and won't allow themselves to be cleaned up or changed. You do it anyway. Let her scream herself voiceless, do it anyway. A person cannot be left in a spoiled pull-up or diaper because that will lead to so many types of health problems from UTI's to skin sores. Your sister is at the point now in her dementia where pull-ups should be a thing of the past. She should be in actual tabbed adult diapers now.
Look for a memory care facility. If she gets too hard to handle you can bring her to a hospital ER and ask for a 'Social Admit' because she cannot be cared for at home anymore. They will admit her until they find a memory care that has an available bed. This action is the last resort.