I have been asked by my sister to be her POA. She has another sister that lives in the same state, but refuses to let her to fill that role. I have been undergoing health concerns as well as my partner. I am 65 and my sister who has lived alone in the country for many years and has had not much contact with others, myself nor my family. She is 76-years-old and I really don't think she has anyone else who can fill that role. I have another sister who has relied on me for many years since her husband passed and she has declining health. I am her executor. We live in the same state, fortunately. I don't know if I would be able to fulfill that role. She is a Veteran. Does anyone have advise Ion how I should proceed on this. I really don't know if I can be her POA effective. Since she is a veteran is there any help there for her? What all is involved? Would I be expected to be her caregiver in the role of POA?
Any advice would be most helpful.
Thank you,
Catherine
Her being a veteran is an entirely separate issue. But you might, as POA, need to communicate with military and veterans’ affairs agencies at some time or another if you’re POA.
POA expires upon her death. Also, you don’t have to agree to be POA. It’s her problem to choose someone appropriate, and you don’t have to participate in the selection.
It's a big job if you're going to be paying bills and etc. You will have to make arrangements with each company and every entity involved in your sister's life, from phone company to insurance supplements, to medicare and medicaid, to accounts. And each will want proof of your papers.
You will be very busy for at least a year arranging proof of your POA and getting paperwork to these entities. It was very anxiety-provoking and time consuming for me for at least a year, and complicated by the fact he lived at one end of our state and I at the other. I spent hours of frustrating time on the phone.
I suggest that you be clear about what serving as POA entails and be certain you are capable of and wish to do all the onerous record keeping and financial management involved, as well as the traveling back and forth. I advise against this. Sister can speak with a Licensed Certified Fiduciary in her area or an elder law attorney about how to proceed for herself without involving you.
She should definitely contact the VA and see what support they might have, but from the sound of it, your plate is already full.
I had my Moms. All she had was her house but that in itself was a headache. All her financial institutions will be there. My brother lives in the Raleigh area and from S Jersey it takes me 7/8 hrs to get there. At 73, I would not take on POA for him and I am in good health.
As a veteran - she is entitled to any number of potential benefits - from medical assistance, to in home assistance, all the way to the possibility of assistance with long term skilled nursing in the form of nursing homes and even veteran's homes. But they aren't going to knock on HER door. She is going to have to advocate for herself.
As POA, you are not required to provide her with hands on care yourself. But you are required to ensure that she HAS proper care provided to her once the POA is actually invoked. There is a big difference in being listed as someone's POA and the POA actually being invoked, but of course the invocation odds increase exponentially the older we get.
I would encourage her to look into every possible VA benefit that she qualifies for - and like yesterday - since the VA can move slowly. And possibly find someone more local to name as her POA.
But I can speak to being a long-distance POA.
I'm POA for my mother who lives 1,600 miles away and honestly, I haven't found the distance burdensome in performing my duties. Yes, I did have to be physically present when the time came to get me named as POA at her bank. We also personally visited the Social Security office and had me named Personal Representative (same as POA but since you're dealing with the government, they have their own terminology for everything).
But now I can do her banking online & pay her bills online. I have her POA scanned as a pdf file already so that it's easy to email any time I'm dealing with a new service provider (caregiving agency) who needs to see it. So it's all relatively painless.
Lastly, if you do recommend to her that she find someone else to be POA, be aware that POA means that person has complete and total access to ALL of her assets. A general durable POA (which is what my mother gave me, I'm aware that some POAs are limited) means that they are acting as if they were her and can do anything with her assets. Hopefully all their actions will be in her best interest but there are bad actors out there. Therefore, whoever she selects will hopefully be 110% trustworthy.