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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
How do you know he's back in the hospital because of lack of care? When someone's health is in decline, repeated hospitalizations happen whether they have good care at home or not.
If you've determined that he's not being cared for properly and have evidence of that, send a note to his primary care physician. Evidence could be pictures you take of the home situation and videos of procedures that aren't being done properly by his wife. It would be good to show these to the doctor or to any social workers who are called in.
Next time he goes to the hospital, you and/or your wife should inform the discharge person that sending him home would be an unsafe discharge. Then he may be discharged to a memory care facility that will take care of him properly.
Don't take him into your own home! His care will be beyond you, if it isn't already. As for mom, that's a whole other issue. She probably needs to be in a care facility also.
Have you discussed POA? If not, and there is any descent into incompetency (Dad may already BE there) you will be seeing this come to a head eventually with some hospitalization and Social Services will contact you; they may help you with getting guardianship, temporary guardianship, conservatorship. You will then be looking at placement considerations.
You might, if you wish, visit an elder law attorney or a Licensed Social Worker in private practice for guidance. Consider whether or not you want to report them as seniors at risk and open an APS case; they can also help you with getting conservatorship if your parents won't willingly give you POA.
Meanwhile try, when checking on them, not to enable their bad decision not to address future care needs. Try to have sensible discussions with them. Look up what being POA means; you will need to decide if you WANT this difficult fiduciary position or not.
I am so sorry. This is such a typical story here. It happens for so many and is so distressing. You are not alone, not that this helps you much.
How do you expect the wife to properly take care of her husband when she suffers health issues of her own??? They both need Assisted Living where they can have services and amenities 24/7, or in home help to assist with their needs. Otherwise, you'll have to wait for a hospital stay for one of them where it's deemed they can't return home to live independently again. That's when they get forced into managed care for their own safety.
You say "his wife" so that makes me think the woman is not ur wife's mother? If not ur wife's mother, does she have children of her own? If so, they are responsible for their mothers care. Your wife for her Dad.
I agree, you need to see an elder lawyer to see what options you have. I also agree, that the next time FIL is in the hospital and its because he is not getting care in the home, the discharge nurse needs to be told that its unsafe to send him home. This is a good time to get him placed in Memory Care if he can afford it. If not, a nice Long-term facility applying for Medicaid. An elder lawyer will be needed to split assets in both scenarios. FILs split going towards his care and his wife's split going towards hers.
Area Agency on Aging Answers on Aging for West Central Ohio
937-223-HELP 1-800-258-7277
This is the website address - https://info4seniors.org/ - but it's so simple I couldn't believe it's correct so I copied their phone number as well. Lots of resources on there, hope you find something helpful.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If you've determined that he's not being cared for properly and have evidence of that, send a note to his primary care physician. Evidence could be pictures you take of the home situation and videos of procedures that aren't being done properly by his wife. It would be good to show these to the doctor or to any social workers who are called in.
Next time he goes to the hospital, you and/or your wife should inform the discharge person that sending him home would be an unsafe discharge. Then he may be discharged to a memory care facility that will take care of him properly.
Don't take him into your own home! His care will be beyond you, if it isn't already. As for mom, that's a whole other issue. She probably needs to be in a care facility also.
If not, and there is any descent into incompetency (Dad may already BE there) you will be seeing this come to a head eventually with some hospitalization and Social Services will contact you; they may help you with getting guardianship, temporary guardianship, conservatorship. You will then be looking at placement considerations.
You might, if you wish, visit an elder law attorney or a Licensed Social Worker in private practice for guidance. Consider whether or not you want to report them as seniors at risk and open an APS case; they can also help you with getting conservatorship if your parents won't willingly give you POA.
Meanwhile try, when checking on them, not to enable their bad decision not to address future care needs. Try to have sensible discussions with them. Look up what being POA means; you will need to decide if you WANT this difficult fiduciary position or not.
I am so sorry. This is such a typical story here. It happens for so many and is so distressing. You are not alone, not that this helps you much.
Good luck to you
I agree, you need to see an elder lawyer to see what options you have. I also agree, that the next time FIL is in the hospital and its because he is not getting care in the home, the discharge nurse needs to be told that its unsafe to send him home. This is a good time to get him placed in Memory Care if he can afford it. If not, a nice Long-term facility applying for Medicaid. An elder lawyer will be needed to split assets in both scenarios. FILs split going towards his care and his wife's split going towards hers.
Who's the decision-maker, your FIL or his wife?
Answers on Aging for West Central Ohio
937-223-HELP
1-800-258-7277
This is the website address - https://info4seniors.org/ - but it's so simple I couldn't believe it's correct so I copied their phone number as well. Lots of resources on there, hope you find something helpful.