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I work full-time. Hubs is retired and has several health issues we're working on getting to the bottom of. We are optimistic he will be active again, but in the meantime, his mobility is very limited.


While I am at work, he keeps everything he may need in a day at arm's length. This includes his medications, as well as a variety of things for entertainment when he feels up to it (as there are better days and worse days). As a result, the space (the coffee table and surrounding area), is enormously cluttered.


Neither one of us is neat as a pin, never have been. But I'd like to improve the level of clutter he lives in. Partially for my own sanity, but I think he'd feel better and more positive if it wasn't such a nest.


I've already changed out the base of the coffee table to one that has a couple of drawers and shelves. But those are overflowing. I WILL say that I can probably cycle out some things he doesn't need access to anymore from the drawers, which should give at least a little space for his toys, so that will be first. I guess I could get one of those pill organizers for his meds, but he's resisting that. Any thoughts on a compromise there?


I'll be in and out with questions. I'm just glad I found this forum and am looking forward to some thoughts.

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Grandma1954 8/4/23 4:30 pm
I would , if you have not yet obtained one, a small refrigerator that will hold what he needs for the day. The top can be used as a side table if needed.
If he is taking a lot of pills a pill organizer might work, if he takes a lot maybe a small box with lots of compartments. (I got one for my grandson who has take to "collecting rocks" I got it where the tackle boxes are sold)
If he does not have a garbage can right by his chair or the couch get one, HE can toss stuff out that he is not using, task him with going through some of those drawers.
When I was caring for my Husband and I had caregivers coming in I got one of the inexpensive 3 or 4 drawer plastic units. I kept creams in 1 drawer, briefs in another. Made it real handy to have everything right there but it was out of sight and again, it is the perfect height that it can be used as a side table.
And maybe, just maybe until things get better having a caregiver come in 2 or 3 days a week to help you out, or at least a cleaning service 2 times a month is something that you can do to help YOU out. Tell hubby it is just temporary. (wink wink)
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Grandma1954...again....
Just thought of this.
If your husband is a Veteran the VA may have programs that can help.
Please contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission and see what help is available.
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Dawn88 Aug 2023
Don't expect any quality help from the VA, they are terrible. I'm an Army brat struggling with these fools for 2 years. A huge, disappointing waste of time. I'm in California, near several major VA Medical Centers.
I got better results from Medicare Advantage civilian doctors.
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I'm curious as to why he is resisting a pill organizer. If he resists something that simple and convenient, do you anticipate his resistance to other organizational moves you might make?
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You haven't said his level of mobility but I assume he can get around when he has to so my suggestion is that he doesn't need all this stuff to be permanently within reach. I would set up a shelf or bins where he keeps everything he's not using that day - his immediate area can be tidied up daily (or periodically) in exactly the same way that you would tidy up the kid's play area. No matter what his mobility problems no doubt encouraging him to move a little more will be beneficial.
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I have the same issue! But it's me, not my husband or anyone else. I am perfectly mobile but I like having everything handy by my TV chair -- nail file, lotion, tissues, eye drops, cat brush, magazines, pen & paper, phone, TV remote control, reading glasses, etc. I don't consider any of this clutter! I do have a basket on the bottom shelf of my side table, can just shove stuff in the basket when company comes.
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Similar situation here. I organize moms things in and OCD type of way and she explodes everything to the point she can't find what she needs. I put all her morning medicine bottles in one zip lock (labeled "day") and the same for her night meds. She sits in a recliner, so I got a chair cover with pockets, great for the remotes, cell phone, chapstick, reading glasses etc. I leave out one pad and one pen (instead of 50..lol) I hang a small trash bag within her reach. It's not a perfect system, but it does make a dent in the clutter.
Im certain that every household has a few "junk drawers" (including mine!)
😊
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TouchMatters Aug 2023
whats an OCD
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I have three of the long pill containers that had a section for each day of the week, one is for my morning pills, one for my nighttime pills and one for the pills I take throughout the day, those I take from their slot in the morning and put into an old medication bottle that I keep with me for the day and the other two stay on my bedside table since I take them morning and night. They aren’t all prescription medications I have my vitamins and supplements in there too. I keep all the bottles that I fill these from each week together in a bag. Maybe your husband would be less resistant to pill organizers if he is in charge and it’s about making his life easier. I know how disorganized and cluttered just a few pill bottles can make an area so if he could eliminate some of that he might even find it helpful for his mindset not being reminded by having to look at them all day long.

Also as someone who has bouts of time in bed I learned to use bins or baskets, bins now that I can store under the bed, one for cords and remotes, one for paperwork, one for personal care, one for medical…it sounds like you might be able to do something similar using the shelves and drawers you now have under the table. It allows for tossing things in but still having them somewhat organized and movable.
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If he resists something as simple and convenient as a pill organizer I would be inclined to keep an eye on his cognitive abilities. Things may be changing for the worse.
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You might need to focus on the mindset of your husband vs finding ways to accommodate his collecting due to AUTOMATIC BEHAVIOR(S) -

* Can he actually get up to out of reach?
* If his behavior more fear than actual need?
* Will be 'listen' to reason (your reasoning)
* Creating more drawers and areas to collect will likely mean he collects more to fill in the space(s)

* Is some of his behavior due to anxiety (and fear as mentioned) -
- Focus on his fears and anxiety.
- Talk to him more about his feelings

* Figure out what he ACTUALLY uses / 'needs' close by (sitting distance or arms length) when alone. If it isn't needed like medications, water, etc. move it away.

* I would suggest a combination of moving things away (when out of his sight of you doing so) and giving him the space and time to get his feelings out.

* Consider a volunteer, friend, visitor, church or hobby person to spend time with him.

Gena / Touch Matters - P.S. and welcome to our neighborhood. You will get a lot of support here although be aware that most people speak from their experience (which may not be yours or relevant), some are angry due to their issues and express that in inappropriate / unhelpful ways. Most people here mean well and will want to support people asking for support. Let us know how it goes - and what works. When you share with the rest of us what works, it will likely help someone else in the same / similar situation.
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We found my MIL was resistant to the pill containers because she couldn’t remember what each pill was, and what she needed to be taking it for. So we took a picture of the pills IN the bottle and the front of the bottle so she could see/read that she had the right pills. We printed up a little chart on card stock and laminated it and kept it with the pull container for reference. That seemed to eliminate some of her fear/stress.
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You might also consider a small bookcase type of thing, temporarily, that is turned so the shelves face the chair. You could put small bins or other containers on the shelves to contain items.
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When I had shoulder surgery, I purchased a cube shelf from Ikea that was about 6 cubes layed on its side so the top was a shelf with in my reach. I filled the cubes next to the sofa I lived on with things handy with in my reach. It was very handy. Easy to see, reach and replenish, move things as needed and somewhat organized and easy to clean. I hate clutter and messes and stesses me out, so this was a life saver. We just happened to go to Ikea right before and as we were leaving saw a discount section, it was there already built with very minimal damage and marked down significantly.
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We also have much clutter since hub moved his business to our home. Over the years as well I have enjoyed finding baskets, containers, trays & organizing containers from the dollar store. Colorful, bright & keeps like items in one space. Maybe he would use one for his pills.

Tote bags also work hiding things but keeping within his reach.
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Since you do not mention what type of mobility issues your hubby has, try to keep things in easy reach or in rolling organizer that he can pull/push/turn to reach multiple bins and shelves. Also, consider asking the doctor for physical therapy referral. The therapists will help him increase his mobility and give good ideas of products for his specific issues.
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Your pharmacist should be able to create blister packs for his daily meds

put a rubbish bin next to him. Make sure you check it before throwing out the rubbish

a three tier trolly on casters similar to one you might see in the hairdresser are cheap to buy
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Make sure to get his input before moving things around. If he has a system that works for him for his meds and said "no" about changing it around, sometimes the answer is to learn to live with the changes in decor.
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Periwinkle: Perhaps you can get a basket with a handle that can be toted around. Donate the unused items to a charitable organization. Purple Heart is one that offers curbside pickup.
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We got lucky and found a nice small cabinet with 4 drawers (on wheels) at a hospital auction. It keeps everything Mom needs close at hand for her and out of site.
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There are therapists who specialize in decluttering/hoarding issues. Or, start with a male companion who can work with Dad to declutter and find a hobby that will engage him and maybe get him out of the house (Visiting Angels or Care.com).
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We have a few “designer” boxes from Michael’s or Hobby Lobby sitting around on end/coffee tables as catch-alls. They help some.
“Motion furniture”, like you mentioned, with drawers or lift lids with storage inside helps.
sorting= 3 piles to separate things; Pitch, Donate, Keep/File properly.
While mobility is limited, set him up with supplies for organizing, whether it’s baskets, file folders and a label maker, or marker and tags, etc. to help get things organized.
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Hey, everyone.

I love the ideas. Naturally, things have already changed since my original post. I fear that this may be the new norm.

So - to my original post. Life inserted itself into any plans I may have made or not (as it is prone to do). I came up with COVID, which hit me hard. Then he did. Since he's diabetic along with a litany of other things I will eventually get to here, he instantly ran into complications that put him in the hospital.

No, truth is I put him in the hospital. He had a hypoglycemic seizure (a first), along with hypothermia and other issues. I was sick and weak as a kitten. He was terrified and beyond confused. He could not tell me what was going on.

Long story short, I have decided that I need him to help me help him. We need to have a conversation and I need outside help as well. I am almost fully recovered and returning to work tomorrow. He is home from the hospital and very sick. But he is responding to me and we will work towards that conversation.

In the meantime, while he was in the hospital and I was beginning to recover, I cleaned the area - removed his toys that will be taking a back seat at least for a moment. Put all the medication clutter in a large, flat, low basket (I work at a thrift store. We get 50% off the prices. SCORE!) that I can scoop up quickly if and when I need to. So the original problem has at least been addressed for the moment.

Onward to more pressing challenges.

Thanks again for all the ideas. Obviously, it helped.

I'm going to like it here. I wasn't smiling when I sat down at my computer, but I am now.

I/we WILL get through this.

And we're only in our 30's!

Just kidding. He's 66. I'm 64. We've only just begun! Lord help me if I live to be REALLY old.
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Oh, to the pill organizer...

He surprised me! Not only did he say yeah - he's thanked me a gazillion times...he really likes it.

What the hell do wives know anyway, right?
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