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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I want to visit and use family medical leave from work, but he is insulted about having to ask his physician to fill out a form re his symptoms and/or help he needs.
Tell him you just want a vacation, and this is the only way you can get time off.
Tell him you have questions for his doctor, and get him to sign the privacy form so the doctor can talk to you. Then YOU ask the doctor to fill out the form.
Go around. Be economical with the truth. Fib. Wheedle. Tell him you're making yourself sick worrying. Ask "Don't you love me, Daddy? Don't you want to see me?"
Helping someone who is still able ot make their own decisions requires that they trust you. Going behind his back is not likely to facilitate that. It also requires that you allow them the dignity of making their own decisions even when you don't agree with them.
Perhaps you can explain your concern, tell him you would simply like to come and see for yourself and reassure him that you won't interfere with his decisions. Don't attempt to manipulate him, it's bound ot backfire.
Parkinson's doesn't rob the mind, just the body, so we're assuming he can still make all his own decisions. If that is indeed the case and his mind is quite healthy, going behind his back could drive a wedge between the two of you. However, if he is having mental issues, I agree that you get to him by whatever means is necessary, including going behind his back. You have to be sure of his mental state before you proceed, but how do you proceed without knowing how he is? You're caught on an out-of-control merry-go-round. I feel for you.
Asking your Dad to help you get a vacation because you're worried about him might not be the right way to go, but asking your Dad to fill out the form because you miss him so much and that you are in dire need of a vacation seems like a better route to go. Ask him to tell his doctor that you are over-stressing about him which is in turn over-stressing him (a huge detriment to his health is stress). If your Dad asks the doctor to fill out the form so your DAD can get some peace... then your Dad is doing something for you and doesn't look weak to himself. Once you're there, you can better access the situation. Does he have other family members nearby that he can turn to should he need them? You might also ask him what his future long term plan is and ask if he's willing to move in with you should he need to. Be sure to stress future long term so he doesn't think you're jumping the gun on him. It's all in the presentation, so good luck! And let us know how he's doing (and how you're doing). You deserve peace of mind.
He wants to take responsibility for himself, and -- guess what -- you can take responsibility for YOURSELF. "I'm coming to visit you because YOU need it" is precisely what he doesn't want.... and it's also not quite true. "I'm coming to visit you because I want to see you" is frankly truer. It's not manipulative because it's honest -- if you own that fact. You ARE doing it for you. (You're the one who's worried, right?) And you know what else? He doesn't get to stop you. I mean, he can refuse to open the front door, he can refuse to see you, but you're a grownup too: if you want to get on a plane and travel to Timbuctu, that's your choice. If it comes to something like, you want to hire someone to go clean his house or whatever, then his refusing to open the front door becomes a bigger issue. But you still frame it the same way: "I'm hiring someone to come once a week to clean for you because it's making me crazy that I can't do it myself. It's a gift from me to me, and I'd be so grateful if you'd understand that." The point I'm trying to make is that this framing is actually TRUE. It's everybody taking ownership of what's really going on for them.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Tell him you have questions for his doctor, and get him to sign the privacy form so the doctor can talk to you. Then YOU ask the doctor to fill out the form.
Go around. Be economical with the truth. Fib. Wheedle. Tell him you're making yourself sick worrying. Ask "Don't you love me, Daddy? Don't you want to see me?"
People can be stubborn and proud. Good luck.
Perhaps you can explain your concern, tell him you would simply like to come and see for yourself and reassure him that you won't interfere with his decisions. Don't attempt to manipulate him, it's bound ot backfire.
Asking your Dad to help you get a vacation because you're worried about him might not be the right way to go, but asking your Dad to fill out the form because you miss him so much and that you are in dire need of a vacation seems like a better route to go. Ask him to tell his doctor that you are over-stressing about him which is in turn over-stressing him (a huge detriment to his health is stress). If your Dad asks the doctor to fill out the form so your DAD can get some peace... then your Dad is doing something for you and doesn't look weak to himself. Once you're there, you can better access the situation. Does he have other family members nearby that he can turn to should he need them? You might also ask him what his future long term plan is and ask if he's willing to move in with you should he need to. Be sure to stress future long term so he doesn't think you're jumping the gun on him. It's all in the presentation, so good luck! And let us know how he's doing (and how you're doing). You deserve peace of mind.